


Dark Lights of Brooklyn

by jwdish98



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Noir, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Captain America Reverse Big Bang 2017, Detective Noir, Film Noir, Internalized Homophobia, It's brief but there, M/M, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 19:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11088753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jwdish98/pseuds/jwdish98
Summary: Steve Rogers is a private investigator who is barely skating by. He spends more time in his office than his apartment, and he continues to watch all his friends live out their lives while he sits on the sidelines.However, when a case falls into his lap that dredges up past mistakes Steve's life starts to veer off course- in a good way. Probably.(He's not entirely sure yet.)





	1. Bruises That Won't Heal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mithborien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithborien/gifts).



> Hello, everyone and welcome to Dark Lights of Brooklyn! 
> 
> I wrote this fic for the Captain America Reverse Big Bang, inspired by the artwork of the lovely mithborien. I'm super excited to be posting this fic, as I've been working on it a lot for the past few months and being a part of the RBB was a blast. A quick thank you has to go out to my lovely beta Nina (you're the best <3) and also to mithborien for the incredible piece of artwork that I was able to create a story around.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic and I hope you enjoy it!

There are four blocks in Brooklyn that are of importance to this story.

In Brooklyn Heights, near City Park and the U.S. Navy Yard spans four blocks up to Flatbush Avenue. These four blocks seem insignificant, almost. Unrelated other than the fact that they all flow into one another. However, it is in the span of these four blocks where this story begins and ends.

In fact, this story begins on the block nearest to Flushing Avenue.

And it was there, on that very corner, where the office of Private Investigator Steve Rogers resided.

It was a sad little building, run down and dreary, even though the lights constantly flickering out through the windows signaled that there was always someone home. Entering the building brought a sense of apprehension as if expecting something momentous, but all that greeted anyone who entered was an eerie silence, only interrupted by a few creaks from the upstairs area. The staircase itself was a bit more put together than the rest of the building, but that was likely due to safety concerns rather than actual care of the atmosphere of the building. The second floor seemed to be in slightly better condition- or, at the very least, a bit more inhabited.

From one glance inside the right corner office of the second floor, it appeared that Steve Rogers was a simple man.

The office contained nothing more than a bookshelf, a desk and two chairs, a lamp, and large stacks of files strewn across the floor behind the desk. The man himself who was seated in the chair that had settled itself behind the desk seemed far too large for a space so small and just a little too bright for a room that seemed to have no brightness at all. For in the dreary light of the day, scattered sparsely by rain clouds and the bustle of people continuously throughout the city, the office itself held a dark ambiance. Almost no light filtered in through the window, and the figure hunched over the desk with a notebook in hand was shrouded in darkness.

However, it didn’t seem to bother him at all. In fact, he seemed perfectly at peace with the darkness and the silence, as he spent his time scribbling down notes in the book in front of him, peering at the papers that were spread out across the desk.

When a knock sounded at the door, however, the man jolted, his head snapping up and his left hand slipping, sending papers cascading towards the floor.

Steve grumbled a muttered curse under his breath and bent down to grab his papers before calling out, “Come in,” to the person who was waiting behind the door.

It was probably Peggy, Steve figured, shuffling the papers around in his hands until they were in approximately the same order that they’d been in before.

“Pardon me. I’m looking for a Mr. Rogers?” An unfamiliar voice asked.

Steve glanced up, his eyebrows raising, and leaned back in his chair when he caught sight of the woman who had entered his office.

She was tall, her hair curled to perfection, and she held herself in a way that seemed to indicate that she understood the power of her own body. Steve crossed his arms over his chest, unable to help the smirk that quirked at his lips.

“You’re looking at him,” he said, a hint of smugness in his tone.

The woman tilted her head to the side ever so slightly, her curls falling over her shoulders, before her lips curled up into a grin. “Ah,” she said easily. “What a pleasure it is to make your acquaintance then, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve nodded, closing the file he’d been searching through. “Of course. And your name is...?”

“Oh, of course. Silly me.” The woman slid into the seat across the desk from him, a secret sort of smile on her lips. “My name is Dorothy. Dorothy Underwood. But, um. You should call me Dottie.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Mrs. Underwood.”

Dottie laughed delicately, her head tipping back as her curls fell back across her shoulders. “Oh, just miss, if you please.”

“Miss Underwood, then,” Steve said. He adjusted the files in front of him until they were properly aligned, just so his hands had something to do. “How can I help you today?”

A small smile graced Dottie’s face. “I inquired around for the name of a reliable private detective,” she said, her lips molding into a small frown. “Yours seemed to come up quite often.”

Steve hummed easily, leaning towards Dottie. “Well, I suppose this would be easiest if you started at the very beginning.”

“My brother David and I just moved here a few years ago from California.” Dottie’s face morphed into a frown that looked more bothered than truly upset. “I suppose I hadn’t been paying as much attention to him as I should have been, because this past month it came to my attention that he’s being blackmailed into doing work for one of those awful shady businesses that operates as front for some... mob or mafia business. I’m not entirely sure, but it sounds just awfully terrible.”

“And... Are you looking for someone to put a stop to the blackmailing?” Steve asked, removing his hat from his head and setting it down on his desk.

Dottie nodded enthusiastically, her eyes a little sad. “I want to find out what these people are using against my brother. He doesn’t want to be working for them, so he shouldn’t have to.”

“Of course.” Steve nodded, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “If you could just give me some general information about the people blackmailing him? Or, um. Even the name of the business that they operate as a front would be helpful information. Anything you can think of, really.”

“Oh, well. The name of the business is L&L automat, I do believe. And I don’t know much about the men who are blackmailing my brother, but I do know that they’re awfully dangerous. Please, Mr. Rogers. You must be careful. I wouldn’t want for anything to happen to you on account of my asking help.”

Steve glanced up from his pad of paper, arching an eyebrow. “Ah, well. Thank you for the warning, Miss Underwood. I’ll be sure to take caution around these folks.”

“Of course,” Dottie said, nodding a bit. “Anything for the man who’s going to help my family.” 

“Well.” Steve nodded, smiling politely at her. “I’ll be sure to do whatever I can. Now, if you could just-”

Footsteps approaching his office caused Steve to taper off, his eyes narrowing as he pushed himself out of his seat. Dottie had taken to clutching her bag tightly to her chest, alarm in her eyes.

“Steve?” Peggy said as she entered the room. “You know you’re supposed to flip the sign on the outer door when you come in.”

“Ah,” Steve said, turning his gaze from Dorothy to Peggy and back to Dorothy again. “Miss Underwood, this is my secretary. Miss Carter, Miss Underwood just came in a few minutes ago with a new case for us to take.”

Peggy’s expression soured ever so slightly at being referred to as Steve’s secretary- they’d agreed long ago that it would be best if they used that as a cover story, but Peggy still seemed to get angry whenever Steve said the word _secretary_ \- but she finally just tilted her head back and smiled charmingly. Steve felt his shoulders droop a bit with relief.

With her most winning smile fixed on her face, Peggy turned to Dorothy. “Well, Miss Underwood. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh.” Dorothy smiled back, her eyes crinkling as she delicately reached out and shook Peggy’s hand once. “The pleasure is all mine, Miss Carter.” Finally, with that settled, Dorothy turned to look at Steve again. “Mr. Rogers. It’s been such a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for your help. I, uh. I wrote the telephone number for my apartment building so you can get in contact with me if you ever need to.”

Steve nodded, smiling politely. “Of course. Thank you, Miss Underwood. I’ll be sure to contact you as soon as I can.”

With a brief smile and nod, Dorothy dropped a few bills on his desk (way too many, he noted with one glance) and then slipped out of the office as silently as she’d appeared in it and Steve was left standing there, staring after her and trying his best to avoid Peggy’s glare.

“You are an absolute idiot for a pretty girl, aren’t you, Rogers?”

Turning his head ever so slightly, Steve offered Peggy a sheepish smile. “I can’t help it, Peg,” he offered, trying his best for winningly charming, but probably coming across as more pathetically trying not to pose as desperate. “She was a dreamboat of a dame and they always make me all outta sorts.”

Peggy stared at him for the briefest of moments before she rolled her eyes and moved to settle into the chair across from his desk. “An idiot,” she repeated. “You’re a complete idiot.”

Steve couldn’t really argue with that, so he kept his mouth shut and just stared at Peggy, blinking.

Their staredown lasted for a few minutes before Steve rolled his eyes and picked up the money Dorothy had left on his desk.

“What did she want, then?” Peggy asked.

Steve flipped through the money, counting it easily, before he turned to look at Peggy and sighed. “She said something about how her brother was being blackmailed and she wanted me to put a stop to the whole thing.”

“Blackmailed?” Peggy placed a hand on her hip and arched an eyebrow. “By who?”

Steve shrugged. “She wasn’t exactly sure, but she said something about the L&L automat and how it was probably a front for a mob boss or the mafia.”

Peggy rocked back on her heels for just a moment, her eyes narrowing. “L&L?”

“Do you know it?” Steve asked. He doubted that the look on Peggy’s face could mean anything else. It was a bit surprising that she seemed so startled, though. It was rare that anything ever caught Peggy off guard.

“I do,” Peggy said. “My friend works there, and it’s close to my office building. I eat there quite often.”

For a moment, Steve just stared at her, waiting for more information before he said, “And?”

“And they have some very good food,” Peggy said. Steve couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Finally, Peggy sighed. “I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary about the place, but I suppose I wasn’t exactly looking for anything to be odd there. I can take you there for lunch this afternoon, though, if that would help you with your case.”

The grin that split across Steve’s face was one he couldn’t help. “Thanks, Pegs,” he said cheerfully. “You’re the best.”

Peggy crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. “I’m aware, Steven.”

“You should, um. You should bring Daniel, though,” Steve added, fiddling again with the papers on his desk. “I think it would feel weird going out with you without him being around.”

He glanced up just in time to see Peggy roll her eyes. “Very well,” she agreed blandly. “If that would ensure your delicate sensibilities aren’t hurt in any way.”

A wry smirk tugged at Steve’s lips as he leaned back against the desk, his arms crossing over his shoulder. “I would feel more comfortable if both of you were there, yes. Wouldn’t Daniel prefer if he was there with us too?”

“He’s never been jealous of you, Steven,” Peggy replied. She rolled her eyes rather dramatically, but Steve decided it was best not to bring that up. “You do know that, right?”

“I know,” Steve said. “Still, I would... I would never want him to feel uncomfortable just because you and I used to be-”

Peggy snorted. “You’re so dramatic, Steven. Daniel is aware that we were together and he’s come to terms with that fact.”

“I know.” Steve let out a huff and slumped back against the wall. His posture was more moping than uncomfortable, but there was still a hint of tension in his shoulders that Peggy was bound to notice. Peggy noticed everything. She was _Peggy Carter_. “But I would never want to offend Daniel in any way. He’s a nice guy.”

“I’m aware,” Peggy said. She tilted her head to the side and let her curls spill ever so slightly over her shoulders. “He appreciates you too, Steven. And both of us will be more than happy to come to lunch. You should invite Sam and Maria, while you’re at it. I haven’t seen either of them in quite a while, and I would love to have lunch with them.”

Steve watched as Peggy moved forward, grabbed a pen and a pad of paper from his desk, wrote down the address of the restaurant and then leveled him with a  _Look_. Peggy had a lot of looks and Steve was accustomed to most of them at this point, but Steve was never the best judge of their exact meaning. He kind of just always assumed that they all meant varying levels of  _b_ _e reasonable and don’t do anything idiotic, Steve._

So far, that assumption had worked out in his favor.

“Sure,” Steve agreed as Peggy straightened up. “I was planning to go talk to Sam anyways, so I’ll make sure to invite him and Maria along while I’m there.”

“Good.” Peggy reached out and patted Steve’s hand gently before pulling back and arching an eyebrow at him. “Is my blonde wig still in the cupboard?”

After a brief second of considering, Steve decided it was best to just not ask and, instead, simply nodded. “Last I saw it was still on the top shelf,” he offered.

Peggy raised an eyebrow at him, but the look relaxed when she found the wig settled on the shelf. She grabbed a bag that was settled in the back of the dresser and slung it over her shoulder, carefully maneuvering the wig around it.

“Go talk to Sam, Steve,” Peggy said without even glancing over her shoulder. “There’s no time to dilly dally.”

Steve made a face at Peggy’s back but didn’t argue. He knew better than to do that, at this point in his life. Instead, he sighed and fiddled with the papers settled on his desk.

“I’ll head over there once I get myself organized,” Steve offered, just in time for Peggy to wave her hand around noncommittally at him and disappear into the other room.

Well, that was settled, then.

Now he just needed to get out of here before Peggy started interrogating him about the last place he’d seen her good set of heels because Steve would probably rather die than admit to his culpability in their disappearance.

_..._

The door to the apartment of Sam Wilson was a soft red that appeared brightly against the gray of the walls surrounding it. The building wasn’t in bad condition, but it would be an overstatement to call the condition of the walls good, considering the slight peeling of paint that was visible around the edges.

The man that approached the door seemed comfortable in the environment, his shoulders ever so slightly slumped and lacking any tension at all. To an outside observer, it might seem as if he lived in the apartment, judging by how familiar he seemed with the building. However, after a long look, it would likely become apparent that the man wasn’t entirely at home in the building.

There was no tension in his shoulders, yes, but his steps were measured in a way that seemed uncomfortable and awkward. His eyes were too alert to speak of the relief of being home, and the shape of his hands in his pockets kept switching to the bundle of fists that seemed prepared for a fight to spring out from around every corner.

Then again, it was quite possible that his preparedness for a fight was simply a habit, at this point in his life, and not wariness.

As Steve stepped up to the familiar red door, he glanced about the hallway- more of a second nature than paranoia by now- before knocking quickly on Sam’s door.

There was a long moment of silence before the door slid open and Sam grinned at him and jovially greeted him, “Steve!”

Steve nodded at his friend, stepping into the apartment when Sam moved away from the doorway. “Sam,” he greeted in return. “Hello.”

Sam shut the door and turned around to look at him, his ever-calm smile written across his face. “What can I do for you, Steve?”

A smile threatened to break free on Steve’s face, but he bit back the grin and, instead, arched an eyebrow at his friend. “What makes you think I need something from you, Sam? What if this is just a social call?”

“It’s never just a social call with you,” Sam said, his voice bland and amused at the same time.

Steve sighed, the smile finally breaking loose. “Peggy told me I was supposed to invite you to lunch, even though I was going to do that anyways.”

“And?” Sam asked.

“And I may need your help,” Steve said, making a face back at Sam. “Are you happy now?”

“Very, actually.” Sam raised an eyebrow at Steve in return before he turned to move further into his apartment. Steve watched as Sam moved to his desk and shoved the documents that were spread out across it into a drawer. “So,” Sam finally added. “What can I help you with, Steve?”

“What do you know about the L&L automat?”

The question caused Sam to tilt his head to the side ever so slightly, but his face revealed nothing. “Why do you ask?”

Steve shrugged, his brow furrowing a bit. “I had a client come in earlier today who told me that the automat is apparently a front for some mob boss or a gang or some... thing. I thought it’d be best to try and check that out before making any accusations, you know.”

“Huh.” Sam’s lips twisted into a frown finally, and he looked up from his desk to watch Steve carefully. “I... Well. I haven’t heard anything about the place from any of my informants, but I’ve never asked about it before so it’s hard to say. But I do know most of the big criminal groups in town and I don’t _think_ I’ve ever heard of one of them being run through the L &L.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded, his nose scrunching up a bit. “So it’s unlikely but still possible, then?”

A rueful smile was the only response Steve received for a long moment before Sam finally moved out from behind his desk and settled on top of it. “Sorry,” he offered. “I wish I could be more helpful than that, but I guess I’ve got nothing for you to go off of this time.”

“It’s alright.” Steve shook his head a bit, waving a hand around vaguely. “Just... That’s where we’re all going to get lunch later, so take a look around and scope the place out when we’re there, yeah? Let me know if you catch something that I miss?"

“Sure thing,” Sam said easily. There was a slight hesitance in his voice, however, one that had Steve glancing up with a furrowed brow. “Um... Are you sure that the place is...”

“Oh.” Steve blinked a few times. “Um, no. I’m not. But... Peggy eats there all the time and I don’t think she’d spend so much money and time in a place that was segregated.”

Sam nodded, his lips pursing ever so slightly. “Okay,” he agreed. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“And I’ll kick somebody’s ass if the say anything to you.”

A longsuffering sigh left Sam, but he was smiling anyways. “Don’t fight anybody today, please.”

Steve bit back a smile but shrugged anyway, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll think about it.”

That got him an eye roll in return, but Sam still looked amused, so Steve counted this one as a win. He allowed himself a small smile and mental congratulations for it.

“Do you need any more help with this case?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. “You did come all the way out here, after all.”

“Oh.” Steve blinked, eyes narrowing. “Um... Do you know anything about the Underwood family?”

“The Underwoods?” Sam repeated. When Steve nodded, he rocked backward ever so slightly, his brow furrowed. “I think I’ve heard the name thrown out a few times. Why do you ask?”

“It’s the name of the kid that I was asked to look after. Apparently, he’s the one being blackmailed.”

Sam hummed a bit, going over to his bookshelf and searching through the mountain of files that he had piled up on the shelves in the stead of any actual books. “What’s his full name?”

“David Underwood,” Steve replied dutifully. “He moved to New York with his sister a few years ago from California, according to what she told me.”

While Sam searched through his files, Steve leaned back against the desk. He attempted to strike a casual pose in the hopes that Sam wouldn’t tell him off for pressuring him. Steve wasn’t entirely sure how well it worked out but, at the very least, Sam didn’t seem bothered by him.

Finally, Sam seemed to find what he was looking for and he turned back around, the file clutched tightly in his hand. “Take a look through this,” Sam said, brandishing the file in Steve’s direction. “And get off my desk, you fool.”

Steve stepped forward and grabbed the file with a grin, unable to help himself.

As Sam moved to straighten up the desk- Steve had kind of messed up the organization of his files when he’d sat down- Steve walked a bit closer to the lamp and inspected the file thoroughly. There wasn’t a lot of information in it, some mentions of David Underwood and the things that he’d done, and a brief mention of Dorothy. However, there was one paragraph that stood out to Steve, simply due to the mention of a name that Steve had never seen before.

Frowning, Steve turned back to look at Sam, his brow furrowed. “Hey, Sam?” He asked. When Sam finally looked up at him, Steve continued, “who is Arnim Zola?”

“What?” Sam asked, his brow furrowing.

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. The name is mentioned in this file, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him before.”

Sam leaned over, a frown marring his features, and peered at the file. His eyes narrowed a bit. “You know,” Sam finally said, “I’ve seen his name around in a couple files, but I don’t think I have anything on him. Which is... Kind of strange.”

“Hm.” Steve looked down at the file in his hand again, eyes narrowing as his finger traced over the name. “Arnim. What an awful name.”

Sam, because he behaved like an adult, did his best not to laugh at the comment, but Steve could see the glint of amusement of in his eyes. “It is pretty bad,” Sam agreed briefly.

Sighing, Steve turned his attention back to the documents. He was silent for a few minutes, re-reading the words that were scrawled on the page in front of him. “Do you mind if I hold onto this one for a while?”

“Huh?” Sam glanced up, arching an eyebrow. When he processed Steve’s question, he finally just shook his head. “Nah, go ahead. It’s all yours.”

With a grin, Steve slipped the manila folder into his briefcase, watching it disappear into the darkness of to-do-laters. When he turned his attention back to Sam, he was greeted with a smirk that Steve knew was never a good thing.

“And now,” Sam said, raising his eyebrows. “Since we’ve got time before we have to head out to lunch with Peggy, you’re going to help me clean up my desk from the mess _you_ turned it into.”

Steve groaned but complied anyway.

There was never any point in arguing with Sam Wilson, after all.

_..._

The L&L automat was, at first glance, was cozy but unimposing.

Neon green letters at the front of the building signaled the location to passersby, but the lettering was the only eye-catching element of the otherwise nondescript plain building front. The street itself was rather busy, with people bustling back and forth down the sidewalk outside the building with only the occasional person moving away from the daily hustle and bustle in order to enter the automat.

Once inside, the building still appeared as fairly plain and boring. The walls were green, a light pale gentle color offset with a much darker green. There were a few pink accents throughout the room but, otherwise, that was as far as the color scheme went.

The place wasn’t exactly busy, but there was a fair amount of people wandering about the restaurant, either to get food or to grab a table.

Steve glanced about the building, his brow furrowed a bit, before he spotted Peggy seated at a table near the back. Daniel was settled next to her in the booth and as Steve and Sam approached the couple waved at both of them.

A smile graced Steve’s face and he moved towards the booth, scooting all the way down the bench and settling in across from Peggy so that Sam could sit down next to him. Sam’s fingers tapped nervously on the table the second he settled down and Steve shot him a glance, worry furrowing his brow. Sam was always nervous about publicly being around the three of them.

Not that Steve blamed him, of course, but it was always sad to watch. Steve wished he could do something to fix it, even though he was well aware there was no way to make Sam more comfortable walking around New York with people of a different race.

“I invited Maria to join us,” Peggy offered. “She should be here soon, probably.”

Steve grinned and said, “Great.”

He also pretended not to notice the way Sam’s eyes widened and his posture became straighter. For the past few months, Sam had been entirely unsubtle in his clear shift of attention whenever Maria came up. And, while Steve was entirely aware of why Sam would likely never pursue anything with Maria, it was still nice to see him get this excited about something.

“Hey, all!” A cheerful voice greeted them.

Steve turned his head ever so slightly to look at the waitress who had wandered up to their table. She had an air about her that was oddly innocent, especially considering the sassy tilt of her hips and the mischievous grin on her lips. Steve arched an eyebrow, unable to help but smile up at her. There was something undeniably charming about her.

The feeling of Peggy’s foot making contact with his shin had Steve wincing (she was wearing  _heels,_ Christ) and turning to glare at her.

“Hello, Angie,” Peggy greeted, smiling as if nothing had happened. “How are you today?”

“English!” Angie grinned and tapped her pencil against the notepad she was holding in her left hand. “I’m doing well. It’s good to see your face around these parts again.”

Peggy smiled, brighter than Steve had probably ever seen. “It’s a pleasure to see you as well, Angie. Um, you remember Daniel?”

“Hi again, Angie,” Daniel greeted, raising his hand to wave at Angie.

Angie nodded right back, winking easily at them. “Hey there, loverboy.”

Daniel’s face went bright red, causing Steve to stifle laughter by pressing his palm to his face. Sam looked far too amused as well, but Steve figured it was hard not to be amused by the look on Daniel’s face.

“And this is Steve and Sam,” Peggy continued, clearly trying to save Daniel from embarrassment, even though she was grinning broadly as well.

“Nice to meet ya, gents,” Angie offered charmingly. “Welcome to the L&L. Is there anything I can get you all this afternoon? Other than a tea for English, because we all know she can’t survive twenty minutes without a good cup of tea.”

Peggy didn’t even look mildly offended. Instead, she simply shrugged, arching an eyebrow at all of them.

“I’ll have some coffee,” Steve said.

Angie scribbled something down on her pad of paper and grinned. “Ah, coffee. A man after my own heart.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and smiled up at Angie, unable to help himself. Peggy kicked him under the table again, and Steve’s smile became lined with pain. Something about the look in Angie’s eyes told Steve that she absolutely knew that Peggy was going to kick his ass later.

“I’ll have a coffee as well,” Sam said.

“Yeah, me too.”

After scribbling away at her paper a little more, Angie looked up with a cheerful hum and offered, “three coffees and a tea. I’ve got you folks covered. I’ll be back with those in a few minutes.”

And, with that, she was off in a flurry of swishing skirt and bouncing curls.

Steve watched as she retreated to the counter, where a figure was hunched over the bar, seemingly cleaning it with the rag in his hand. Angie said something to him and the man turned so that he was hidden in the shadow left by the wall and the sunlight of the hour. Steve normally would have considered that suspicious but, as of right now, he had a much better use of his time- and that was making Peggy get angry at him.

Not that angry Peggy was  _f_ _un_ in any way but, still, sometimes it was entertaining to see how much he could still rile her up.

“Well,” Steve said, looking back at the table. “She’s charming.”

Peggy scowled at him- in a way that was somehow still dignified and proper-looking because she was Peggy Carter and she could pull anything off- her eyes narrowing into a glare.

“Don’t you dare,” she warned him. “If you try to flirt with Angie I will castrate you.”

That was a serious threat, really, because Steve had no doubt within him that Peggy could accomplish anything she wanted to if she set her mind to it. It was actually a bit terrifying, which was why Steve made sure that he was never on Peggy’s bad side.

A huff escaped him. “I wasn’t flirting,” Steve said.

Peggy raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by just that. Steve looked to Daniel and Sam for help, but both of them refused to make eye contact.

Some friends they were.

“I wasn’t flirting with intent,” Steve finally offered, shooting an innocent smile in Peggy’s direction. She rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air, but seemed to accept that. Next to him, Sam snorted with amusement until he was outright laughing at Steve’s idiocy.

Steve frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re...” Sam’s words shook with laughter. “You’re such an idiot. Who even says things like that? _I wasn’t flirting with intent._ ”

“I don’t sound like that,” Steve protested, making a face. “I sound absolutely nothing like that.”

From across the table, Daniel said, “I thought it was actually an alright impression.”

Steve pursed his lips and glared at Daniel, but that only seemed to make the smile on Daniel’s face grow wider.

Goddammit.

“I hate all of you,” Steve said snappishly, ignoring the fact that all those words did was get another round of laughter out of all three of his friends.

“Would you folks stop causing that ruckus?” A voice asked from behind them.

Steve turned to look over his shoulder. The man seated at the table behind them looked to be about sixty or seventy. He was hunched over on himself, sipping away at a mug of coffee with a newspaper spread out across the table in front of him.

“Our apologies, sir,” Sam said politely. “We’ll make sure to be quieter from now on.”

As he looked at Sam, the man’s face soured. “You’d better.”

Steve turned back to look at Peggy and Daniel, who were chattering away about Daniel’s work and the new case he was working on. They kept throwing around the name  _Jack_  with great distaste (or, at least, distaste in Peggy’s case. Daniel didn’t seem fond of the man, but he kept protesting Peggy’s disdain) and Steve was about to ask who Jack was when the man spoke again.

“Can’t believe they let people like you sit in here with the rest of us.”

Steve stilled, tension gathering in his shoulders, and turned around to stare at the man who happened to be glaring right at Sam.

A startled look wrote itself across Sam’s face. “Excuse me?” Sam said, his brow furrowing. “Can... Can I help you?”

The man scoffed, setting his mug of coffee down on the table with a clatter. “You can help me by leaving this place and going back to somewhere your kind belongs.”

“Are you serious?” Peggy asked, her face a little blank as she stared at the man a few booths away from them.

Next to him, Sam had gone tense and still. Daniel looked just about as blank and angry about Peggy did, but Steve had no doubt that he would hold Peggy back from starting a fight if he had to. Nevertheless, Steve pulled himself a little straighter upright, more than determined to start picking fights if he had to. He wasn’t going to let anyone start talking about Sam like that, and there wasn’t anyone at the table who was going to hold  _him_ back.

Before he could figure out how to get around Sam and out of the booth so he could go give the ass behind them a piece of his mind, however, the mysterious figure who’d spent his time hunched over the bar appeared seemingly out of nowhere and stood in front of the man’s table, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m going to need you to leave, pal,” the figure said, and Steve felt a painful jolt in his chest that had him freezing.

Because  _f_ _uck_ , he recognized that voice.

His eyes flickered quickly over the figure, trying to drink in every single aspect of the man as quickly as he could, his breath catching in his chest as his eyes scanned up and down over and over again, barely able to process what he was seeing.

Yes, that was definitely Bucky Barnes.

The man seated at the table scoffed, tilting his head back. “Who are you to tell me that I have to leave?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Bucky drawled out, sneering at the man. “Just the poor schmuck who owns the place. So, actually. I can definitely tell you to leave. Get out and find another place to buy your food. We don’t want your business if you’re going to behave like a cock-eyed creep.”

The man scoffed, standing up from the booth and pushing past Bucky. “Fine. I don’t want to give you my money, then.”

“That’s good,” Bucky’s voice was still a casual drawl. He looked entirely unaffected by this conversation while the other man was red in the face. “Now get out of my restaurant.”

The man was gone in an angry huff and a few pointed stomps of his feet, then, and Steve was still staring at Bucky, his heart caught in his throat.

Bucky turned to look at their table, arching an eyebrow. His attention was fully on Sam, his eyes gentle. “You okay, pal?”

“Um, yeah,” Sam croaked out. “Um. Thank you.”

“Nah, it’s no problem,” Bucky said, waving a hand around vaguely. He was wearing an apron tied around his waist and the rag that he’d had in his hand at the bar was slung over his shoulder now. His hair was a little bit longer than it had been the last time Steve had seen him, but it was still styled back in Bucky’s favorite look. “Don’t worry about it.”

Sam nodded slowly, a small smile coming to rest on his face. “Right. Well, still.”

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded at him, turning his attention to Peggy and Daniel. “You two alright, too?”

Daniel nodded, his expression serious but grateful, and Peggy said, “yes, thank you very much,” with a polite smile.

Bucky smiled back, gentle and cheerful, and, painfully, with a force that he hadn’t even planned on, Steve croaked out, “ _Bucky?_ ”

The sound of his voice caused Bucky’s shoulders to jerk backward a bit, his eyes widening. He turned quickly to look at Steve, however, and suddenly the two of them were awkwardly staring at each other, wide-eyed and stunned.

For a few seconds they couldn’t even bring themselves to move. Finally, Bucky’s mouth opened only to close a few seconds later. The action was repeated several times before Bucky finally just settled on saying, “Steve.”

Steve’s throat was dry and his heart was pounding and he was fairly certain that everyone was staring at the two of them, but he was panicking too much to think about that.

“Hi, Buck,” Steve said, his voice sounding raw.

Bucky shifted awkwardly, blinking a few times. They were suspended in space and time for a few more seconds before Bucky blurted out, “Um. Hi. Good to see you. Hope you enjoy your food.”

And then he was gone in a rush, shoving his way into a back room of the restaurant before Steve could say anything else, whatever words were about to burst from him dying on in his throat. Steve stared after him for what felt like an eternity, his shoulders sagging.

“Um.” Sam coughed from next to him, startling Steve into looking at him. “What was that, Steve?”

Daniel and Peggy were both giving him similar looks to Sam. Looking away from all of them, Steve spent a long moment staring at the table and trying to gather himself. The pit of his stomach was still in knots, but there wasn’t much he could do to change that. Instead, he just sat there uselessly, wondering if someone would stop him from trying to sneak in the back room after Bucky.

“Steve?” Peggy asked, her voice careful.

“Oh.” Steve swallowed and tried to force a smile on his face, finally looking up at his friends with a smile. “Um, that was... Bucky Barnes. He was- um. We were friends. Since we were kids, pretty much. We grew up together and did everything together. He, um. Taught me how to box? And we moved in together when my Ma died.”

The group was quiet for a moment before Daniel asked, “what happened?”

Steve shook his head in an attempt to clear it before he shrugged helplessly at his friends. “I... I don’t really know? I think, um. I mean. He was drafted and came back in the summer of forty-three. I came back right after the war ended and we were both living in our apartment again but... Um. He was getting involved in business with some cons and we started fighting a lot about that and then... You never met him, Peg, but he got so upset every time I started talking about you. I don’t know why, really. It was... A weird time. Eventually he just... left.”

His gaze moved from the wall near them and back to the door where Bucky had disappeared. There was still a pull in the pit of his stomach that demanded he go and talk to Bucky right now, but he couldn’t bring himself to stand up. He didn’t want to face whatever Bucky had to say to him, Steve figured. It was probably best if he didn’t, anyways.

“And you haven’t seen him since then?” Peggy asked, her brow furrowed.

Steve shook his head, not even turning to look at Peggy. “No, I haven’t. Um. It looks like he’s finally got some things settled, though. It’s kind of incredible that he owns this place.”

“You should go see if you can talk to him,” Sam suggested suddenly. Steve jerked his head around to stare at Sam, his eyes widening a bit.

“Oh. Um, no,” Steve said quickly. “I... I don’t think I could... I wouldn’t. Um.”

Peggy arched an eyebrow and said, “Steven. Go talk to your friend.”

Steve bit back the  _I don’t think we’re friends anymore_ that threatened to spill over and, instead, just arched an eyebrow at her. Peggy stared right back at him, fearless and intense in her determination. If this were about anything else, Steve likely would have backed down, but this was about  _Bucky_ and there was nothing that made Steve more of a stubborn asshole than Bucky Barnes.

“How do you suggest I get back there, then?” Steve asked.

The smile Peggy gave him told Steve that she’d definitely been expecting him to ask that question and she was glad that he had. His shoulders sagged ever so slightly as he realized that he’d lost whatever stand-off they’d just had.

“Angie,” Peggy called sweetly, as the waitress came back over to their table, a few trays of food and some refills in her hand.

“What is it, English?” Angie asked, looking entirely unamused. Steve appreciated that, but he still knew he was going to end up in that back room with Bucky somehow, no matter what he did at this point.

Peggy tapped her fingers lightly against the table and shot Steve a grin. He resisted the urge to groan and, instead, plastered a polite smile on his face.

“My friend Steve here knows your boss, apparently? Bucky, right? He was wondering if he could go talk to him, even though he wandered into the back room a few minutes ago.”

“Oh!” Angie blinked a few times, her eyebrow flying upwards. “Hm. I’m not entirely sure if you’ll be allowed back there, but I can go check and see what they’re up to. If they’re not, uh, too busy they’ll probably let you in. Um... Steve, you can walk with me if you want.”

The triumphant look that Peggy shot at him had Steve pulling himself to his feet with a low groan.

A forced smile graced his lips as Sam moved aside so that Steve could get out of the booth. “Thanks for this, Angie,” Steve said carefully.

Angie shot an amused look at him but didn’t try to argue with the words. Instead, she just led him to the entrance of the back room. They stopped at the door and she raised a hand, holding it up right in front of his chest.

“Just wait here for a minute, Mister, and I’ll come let you know if you’re good to go back there,” she said, her head tilting to the side in that same mischievous way that it had earlier.

Steve decided that he didn’t like that look anymore.

“Um, yeah,” Steve agreed. “Sure thing, Angie. Um. Thank you so much for doing this.”

With a vague, dismissive wave of her hand, Angie turned on her heel and entered the back room quietly. Steve watched as the door shut behind her and took to tapping his foot nervously against the floor, feeling far too many nerves for this situation.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity- and just as Steve was contemplating turning on his heel and hightailing it out of the automat- the door opened again and Angie wandered out, giving Steve a nod as she sidestepped around him to go back to the counter.

“You can head on back,” Angie offered, her lips quirked up in a little smile.

Steve tried his best to smile back, despite the painful twisting that was happening in his stomach. Nonetheless, he took a deep breath and shouldered through past the door.

The entirety of the back area was far bigger than Steve had expected it to be. There was a desk with reports on it that had a table set up across from it. Currently, there were two people seated at the table, a woman with red haired pulled upwards into an odd hairstyle who looked up at him with a glare the second he entered and a man with messy blond hair and a wry look of amusement on his face. Steve shifted his weight awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Um, hi,” he greeted, the words hesitant. “I’m... Um. I’m looking for Bucky Barnes?”

The woman stood up from the table- which Steve quickly decided probably wasn’t a good thing- and made her way over to him. “Why?”

Steve shrugged, smiling nervously. “Um. I’m... I just want to talk to him. We’re old friends.”

She continued to look unconvinced, but the man stood up and gently settled his hand on her shoulder.

“Excuse Natasha,” he said briefly, and Steve’s eyes flickered back and forth between the two of them. “She gets real defensive about Bucky sometimes.”

Natasha pursed her lips and offered, “I wouldn’t have to get defensive if James were capable of handling things himself in a healthy way.”

The man snorted, giving Steve a look that said something like  _well, what can you do?_ “I think we both know that Bucky isn’t ever going to do that,” he offered briefly.

“Yes,” Natasha agreed. “Because James is an idiot.”

“James would also appreciate it if you stopped calling him James,” a voice-  _B_ _ucky’s_ voice- drawled from a doorway that was offset from the small area that Steve was standing in.

“That won’t happen anytime soon, either.”

Bucky made a face at the two before he dragged his attention to where Steve was standing. His eyes flickered briefly up and down before he offered, “why’d you come back here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, Buck,” Steve said, shooting a hesitant look in the direction of Natasha and the man before he turned back to Bucky. “It’s been a while.”

The frown that was marring Bucky’s features deepened, but replied, “What do you want to talk about?”

Steve shifted uncomfortably.

“Can we maybe...” He pointed awkwardly to the separate office that Bucky was standing in the doorway of.

Bucky glanced back and forth between Steve and the office a few times, considering his options. Finally, he took a step to the side and motioned for Steve to walk in. Steve did so quickly, shuffling across the wood paneling of the floor to slip past Bucky and into the room.

The room itself was rather dark, with one window allowing some of the sunlight that the day had brought to flicker in and illuminate the place. Other than that, there was a few candles settled along the desk (Bucky had always preferred candles over lamps, for some bizarre reason) and papers were strewn about everywhere. One chair rested in front of the desk, and a ratty old couch was settled on the wall opposite Bucky’s desk.

Bucky said something to Natasha and the man before he shut the door behind the two of them. Without even turning to look up at Steve, Bucky made his way over to his desk and settled into the chair that was set up behind their desk.

“So,” Bucky tapped his fingers against his desk and finally turned his attention to Steve. “What are you looking for, Rogers?”

“I...” Steve blinked a few times, startled by the words. “I don’t know. Um, nothing, really. I was just... I just wanted to talk to you.”

They stared at each other, Steve hesitant and Bucky blank. Steve stared intensely at Bucky’s face, hoping that he would crack eventually and show some sign of emotion. It had been so long since the two of them had looked at each other with feeling.

Steve missed Bucky’s smile.

Bucky’s face changed ever so slightly, then, but only to switch from blank to unamused. Steve shifted uncomfortably, his stomach twisting up again.

“There’s no point in doing this, Steve,” Bucky said quietly. “We can keep going back and forth like this all we want but, let’s be honest, there’s more between us than just falling out of touch or getting separated because of the war.”

“Yeah, but-” Steve swallowed, his breathing picking up a little bit. “But things have still changed, Bucky. We’re both different people.”

Bucky looked away from him, his fingers twitching against the desk. The motion caught Steve’s eyes, and he watched as Bucky started fiddling around with everything in sight that was settled on the desk. Something about the moment made Steve want to reach forward and place his hands on Bucky’s own so that he would stop fidgeting

Instead, he let Bucky work his nerves out, not entirely sure what to do with himself.

“We are,” Bucky finally agreed. “And I think we can safely say that the people we are now aren’t friends, Steve. It’s probably best that we keep it that way.”

Heart in his throat, Steve shook his head, his hands clenching into fists. “Bucky, come _on-_ ”

Abruptly, Bucky stood up, knocking his chair backward quickly and bumping his desk at the same time so that a few papers fell to the ground. Bucky gave a soft little growl at them before shaking his head, his posture irritated and clearly unpleased.

“I’ve gotta get back to work,” Bucky said. “You can see yourself out whenever you want. Don’t come talk to me again, Steve. I don’t want to keep playing games with you.”

The beginning of a protest formed on Steve’s lips as he blurted out, “Bucky-” but Bucky had left the room and shut the door behind him before Steve could say anything else.

Shoulders sagging, Steve settled back against the desk, sighing. That hadn’t exactly gone according to plan, then.

Just as he was going to leave, Steve slipped on one of the pieces of paper that was on the ground and nearly tripped. Once he’d managed to regain his balance, Steve reached out and grabbed the piece of paper from the ground, planning to clean up Bucky’s floor and just set everything on his desk.

That was, of course, until he caught two names that were written in Bucky’s messy scrawl.  _David Underwoo_ _d_ was scrawled somewhere near the top of the page, inconsequential in a mess of words that Steve couldn’t fully process at this moment. The one that truly caught his attention, however, was the name that Sam had mentioned earlier, one that was scrawled into the paper thick and sharp, ink bleeding around the edges.

_Arnim Zola_.

Steve felt his brow furrow, his lips pursed ever so slightly. Making a decision on the spot, he folded the paper carefully and shoved it into his pocket before bending over to stack up the rest of the papers and set them on Bucky’s desk.

When everything looked mostly in place again, Steve made his way out of the office and into the other room. He stopped, however, when he noticed that Natasha and the man next to her were staring at him. Clearing his throat, Steve shook his head.

The man made a sympathetic noise. “Guess that one didn’t go the way you planned.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed briefly, gritting his teeth. “Not really.”

Natasha’s eyes were in a glare again, and Steve shifted uncomfortably, trying his best to pretend as if he hadn’t just stolen a paper from Bucky’s office. Then again, he couldn’t really shake the feeling that Natasha’s eyes could figure out all of his secrets in a matter of seconds if she kept looking at him like that. Steve bit back a nervous laugh.

“He’s fine, Clint,” Natasha finally said, her tone dismissive and cold in a way that had Steve stiffening.

The man- Clint?- nodded easily, a cheerful smile on his face. “Good. Nice to meet you, Steve. I think you should probably head back out to your friends, though.”

“Um.” Steve cleared his throat and nodded uncertainly. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Thank you.”

Clint nodded and turned back to his cards, but Natasha’s eyes stayed trained on him. Steve felt tense and unsure under her watchful eyes, but he walked forwards anyways, picking up his pace a bit so he could quickly close the door behind him.

After a brief hesitation- mostly just to calm down, honestly- Steve walked back over to the table where Daniel, Peggy, and Sam had been at. As he approached the table, he spotted a new, dark-haired figure settled into the seat that Steve had previously been sitting at.

“Maria,” Steve greeted as he reached the table. “Hi.”

Maria glanced up, a warm smile on her face. “Steve,” she said. “It’s so good to see you. How are you?”

A furtive glance around the table told Steve that everyone else was wondering something similar, especially if the way Peggy was looking at him (with pursed lips, a raised eyebrow, and a smug smirk) was anything to go by.

“Oh, um.” Steve drew in a deep breath, forcing a smile on his face. “Could be better, I guess.”

Peggy frowned, disappointed by his answer, and settled back into Daniel- who shot him a look that was clearly asking if Steve was okay- ever so slightly. Sam patted him on the shoulder and asked, “You still going to join us for some food?

Sensing the chance of escape that Sam was offering him, Steve forced a smile and replied, “Actually. I, uh. I think I should probably head out.”

“Yeah, of course.” Sam patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Steve. Go home and rest.”

Steve nodded, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “I will, thanks.” Turning his head ever so slightly, he locked eyes with Daniel and nodded politely. “It’s good to see you again, Daniel. I’m sorry to duck out so early.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Daniel said, nodding easily at Steve.

“And I’m sorry that I’m ducking out so quickly after you got here, Maria,” Steve added, frowning at her. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon, though.”

Maria smiled, a little sharp, but mostly calm. “I’m sure we will,” she agreed.

Finally, Steve turned a little fearfully to look at Peggy, his eyes widening a bit.

Peggy pursed her lips at him. “I’m going to talk to you later,” she said, and the words sounded just as much like a promise as they did a threat.

A nervous laugh escaped Steve. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Of course.”

With his goodbyes said, Steve stepped away from the table, briefcase in hand, and slipped the folder he’d stolen from Bucky’s desk into the bag. Then he walked outside, into the dreary weather of the afternoon, and started his long walk back to his office. He took a leisurely and calm pace, steady and sure in his direction, even though he was leaving an afternoon of confusion behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> Please feel free to comment or leave some kudos! I live off of them. And you can also find me [here](nauticalallusions.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you want to chat.


	2. (I'll Be the) Guard Dog of Your Fever Dreams

In the middle of the detective’s office, there was a standoff.

A broad shouldered man, settled behind his desk was having an intense staredown with the one name he’d circled in every document of a file he’d stolen.

Staring at the text was giving him no answers and, yet, he continued to do so as if the name  _Arnim Zola_ held the answer to the universe within it. Of course, it didn’t, but that wasn’t about to stop the man from searching for one.

The sound of a door slamming open down the hall had the man jolting away from the papers in front of him and instead, focusing on the door of his office.

A few seconds later, Peggy Carter opened the door and leaned back against the doorframe.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms over in his chest in an attempt to look as casual as possible.

(From the way that Peggy pursed her lips and stared at him, Steve could tell that he hadn’t been successful at all.)

“What happened yesterday?” Peggy demanded, her hands on her hips as she stopped right in front of Steve’s desk.

Steve glanced up from the files he’d been looking at- currently, that consisted of everything he could get his hands on in an attempt to find the name Arnim Zola anywhere in them- and arched an eyebrow at Peggy. She didn’t back down, however, and Steve wasn’t about to either, so the two of them spent several minutes staring at each other before Steve cracked.

“Nothing, really,” he settled on saying. “He didn’t want to talk to me. Or, well. We talked for about a minute before he just got up and left. It didn’t go well.”

“Oh.” Peggy softened a bit, her shoulders dropping as she moved her hands away from her hips. “I’m so sorry, Steve.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed blankly. He couldn’t even look at Peggy. Instead, he was staring out the window and seeing nothing, despite the lovely view that the sunny day offered. “Me too.”

Peggy sighed rather audibly, and Steve heard the chair across from him scrape against the floor as she settled down into it. Still, he kept his eyes locked on the windows outside and watched the people walking along the sidewalk, past his building and on to better places.

Finally, Peggy reached out and placed one of her hands over Steve’s own. “Steve,” she said quietly. “It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself for it.”

“I don’t blame myself,” Steve protested, pulling away from Peggy’s touch. He settled both of his hands in his lap. “I just want to know what happened between us. He was my _best friend_ , Peg. Christ, he was more than that, really. He was... He was the only person I had for years and I was the same thing for him when his parents died. That was supposed to mean something, you know? And he just... He just left, Peggy.”

Embarrassingly, Steve’s voice cracked on the last sentence, but he just moved to stare at his hands rather than admit to that. It was better this way, he figured. It was better if he just pretended.

“Steve,” Peggy said gently. “Maybe it’s best if you let him go.”

Head snapping up, Steve forced himself not to glare at Peggy and instead croaked out, “What?”

Peggy pursed her lips, her brow furrowing a bit. “I think you’re far more upset about this than he is, and I don’t think that’s fair at all. You should let him go, Steve.”

In theory, Steve supposed that it was sound advice. Peggy always looked at things logically and she was usually right about them. However, she had never met Bucky before, and Steve spoke Bucky as if it was the first language he’d ever learned. He knew what every tone of voice meant, what all the weird noises Bucky made when he wasn’t paying attention were, and he even knew what the subtle way Bucky switched his body positions when he talked meant. Nobody knew Bucky better than he did.

So Steve couldn’t accept that as an answer.

He just couldn’t.

“I’m...” He shook his head, looking away from Peggy. He couldn’t look her in the eye while she told him to forget about how much Bucky meant to him. “I can’t do that, Peggy. I just can’t.”

Peggy sighed. “Of course,” she agreed finally, although it was clear from the clipped tone that accompanied the words that she didn’t agree with that at all.

Still, Steve knew it was the only answer he could give her.

They were quiet, then, waiting for something else to talk about, but nothing came up. Steve tapped his pen anxiously against his desk. He wanted to get back to his files, but he didn’t want to bother Peggy with them. She was working on three cases of her own, at the moment, and the last thing that Steve wanted to do was to give her more things to focus on.

Finally, Peggy let out an irritated huff and took a step back. “Fine,” she said. Steve turned to look at her, but he didn’t say anything that would stop her anger, nor did he try to stop her from leaving. “I’ll discuss this with you again later when you’re being rational.”

Steve wasn’t about to tell Peggy that he doubted he could ever be rational when it came to Bucky Barnes.

“Okay, Peggy,” he agreed, but the words fell short. Peggy seemed to recognize that too.

“I have work to do. I’ll see you later tonight, Steven.”

With that said, Peggy turned on her heel and walked out of his office at a clip that was fast enough to make Steve uncomfortable 

Yeah, she was definitely mad at him.

Steve groaned, his head dropping into his hands. “Fuck.”

That was exactly how he hadn’t wanted this conversation to go, but it wasn’t as if he could take back what he said. Then again, Steve knew that even if he could take back the words he probably wouldn’t.

Nothing could make Steve give up on Bucky.

Not even Bucky himself being an ass was going to make Steve give up on him.

With a sigh, Steve turned back to the file, resuming his intense staring at the file in the hopes that he could glean some sort of information from it. There wasn’t much that he could find, however, that he hadn’t found the first six times that he’d read through the file. Sam’s files had given him little to no information, and while there was a bit more to be learned from the file he’d stolen from Bucky’s office, it still wasn’t enough for Steve to come to any sort of conclusion about the case. Steve would have to dig for information a different way, evidently.

So, Steve made possibly his worst decision of the week and stood from his desk.

If he wasn’t going to be able to get any information from these files, then he was going to have to try and get information from Bucky himself, even if that was only likely to piss Bucky off more.

Oh, well. It wasn’t like things between them could get any worse than they already were.

_..._

The day was clear out, beautiful even. It was a day that spoke of the summer weather that was quickly approaching, and the city greatly appreciated it, as evident in the slightly more leisurely pace that people seemed to be taking. As the man walked past the park near his office, his hat in his hand, people seemed to meander casually this way and that. It was almost a welcome change from the quick pace of the daily movement that seemed to exist in the city.

However, it did make his walk take longer.

The sidewalk in front of the L&L automat was less busy than it had been the other day, but there were still plenty of people going about their daily business. The man made sure to sidestep all of them as he made his way towards the rather plain front of the automat and slipped inside.

As he entered the automat, Steve gave the place a quick glance around. It wasn’t too crowded, which wasn’t a surprise for this hour of the day. Angie was nowhere to be seen, and neither were Clint or Natasha.

Bucky, however, was standing behind the counter, whistling to himself as he wiped it down with a dishcloth that he would occasionally swing around in his hand. Steve swallowed down the nerves that were fighting to overwhelm him and made his way to the counter, his steps as steady and determined as he could make them.

“I need to talk to you,” Steve said, his voice cold, and Bucky turned around to narrow a glare at him, a hint of exasperation behind his eyes.

“Right,” Bucky drawled out, turning his attention back to the bar he had been intently cleaning before Steve had interrupted him. “Why don’t you just scram, Steve?”

“I’m not joking around here, Bucky. This is important.”

Bucky dropped his towel down on the bar and leaned backward a bit just so he could cross his arms over his chest and glared even more intensely at Steve. “I’m not going to keep playing this game with you, pal. I thought I told you to get out.”

Steve stiffened, his jaw clenching before he returned, “Okay,  _James_ , why don’t you listen for half a minute here instead of being an ass?”

There was something in Bucky’s glare then that wasn’t even anger anymore, but just  _hurt_. Steve wasn’t entirely sure what to say about that- really, he didn’t think there were enough words to fully describe the sinking feeling in his stomach accurately- so he shifted uncomfortably before settling his shoulders back and standing his ground. Because there was no way Steve Rogers was going to let anything stop him from getting what he wanted, even if that thing happened to be a particularly broken look in those blue-gray eyes that Steve knew better than he knew his own.

Bucky, ever eloquent, said in a soft hiss, “Fuck you, Steve.”

The words felt like a physical blow, harsh and painful, but Steve forced himself not to react. He wasn’t entirely sure how he and Bucky had reached this point, but they were here now and there was no going back.

“I have a client who came in and said that your restaurant is a front for some kind of mob, Bucky. She thinks that you’re blackmailing her brother into doing dirty work for her.”

“Oh, I see.” Bucky pushed his sleeves up to his upper arms and sneered. He refused to make eye contact with Steve at all, though, no matter how hard Steve tried to catch his gaze. “And you just decided that you believed her and you’re here to get me to confess so you can drag my ass down to the coppers and they can throw me in the joint.”

Steve couldn’t help the scoff that escaped him, then. Because  _goddammit_ , he was trying to be helpful but sometimes Bucky Barnes was just a standoffish ass. An  _i_ _mpossible_ standoffish ass, at that. “That’s not why I’m here, Bucky. You know that. You know me better than that.”

“It’s been a few years, Steve.”

Steve could practically feel his teeth grinding into each other with the effort it took to stop himself from yelling something unpleasant at Bucky. Instead, he forced himself to take a deep breath and watched as Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, his hair drooping over his forehead in that effortless way that Steve had always envied and had the oddly compelling urge to fix- or maybe just run his fingers through it, even though that was  _definitely_ a bad idea- before he shook his head.

“Just answer the question, Bucky. Please.”

They stared at each other, then, locked in a battle of will (which, well. Steve knew that would never end well between the two of them) before something in Bucky’s face changed entirely and he shook his head. His shoulders sagged ever so slightly before he picked up his towel again and went back to scrubbing at the bar.

“I ain’t never blackmailed no one,” Bucky said, his tone taking on something dry and sharp all at once. Steve figured he should probably be writing something down or… something, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Bucky’s face. “And if I was planning on blackmailing somebody, I wouldn’t bother to waste my time on some fathead who would sell me out the second he thought it would work out in his favor.”

Steve sighed heavily. “Yeah, great. That’s real helpful, Bucky.”

“You never said anything about being helpful, pal.” Bucky pursed his lips and looked up from the counter again. “I ain’t got anything else to say to you.”

If this were anyone else, Steve probably would have restrained from saying anything. In fact, he probably would have just turned around and left, but this wasn’t just anyone. He was standing here staring at Bucky, feeling completely useless and awkward, but he knew he wasn’t about to give up on this anytime soon. He was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be, after all.

“I think we’ve got a lot of things we should probably say to each other, Buck.”

“Sonuvabitch,” Bucky breathed out, his face taking on a pinched quality. “I’m not going to waste my time arguing back and forth with you all day, Rogers. If you have something to say then say it. If you don’t, then get out of my building.”

“Why do you keep doing this?” Steve asked. The words were out, bursting from somewhere deep inside his chest, before he could even try to stop himself from saying them. They hung there in the air between them as Bucky’s expression became even more furious and Steve’s (entirely unhelpful) mind came up with a list of several hundred reasons as to why that was probably the worst thing he could have said.

Bucky shot a furtive glance around the automat, but luckily there weren’t many customers around for the two of them to scare off with their barely contained yelling, at this point.

“Keep doing what, Steve?” Bucky said. The words were forced and harsh, but Steve would have expected nothing less from Bucky when that look was on his face.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was comforting or painful that he still knew Bucky better than he knew himself.

A rush of air left his lungs and Steve shook his head. “You keep pushing me away, Bucky. Why? Why would you do that?”

Bucky scoffed, but some of the anger had faded from his eyes. The look that replaced it was one that Steve couldn’t decipher, but there was something about it that made Steve want to reach out, grab ahold of Bucky’s shoulders, and give him a long hug.

Obviously, he didn’t dare do that.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, his expression going from that odd confusing one Steve couldn’t understand to sad to angry and back to impassive before Steve could even fully process what all of that meant.

“I’m not going to tell you shit and you know that, Rogers. Why do you keep asking?”

Steve’s frustration was boiling over- because  _damn_ , Bucky was such a pain to argue with- but he finally offered, “because I care about you, Bucky. You’re my family. You always have been.”

“Yeah.” Bucky rolled his eyes and did that thing with his hips where one of them cocked effortlessly to the side in a charming kind of swagger. Steve definitely wasn’t staring at Bucky’s hips. There was absolutely no reason he would ever be doing that. “Okay, Steve. Maybe if you keep saying that someone will eventually believe it, but you ain’t fooling me anytime soon, kid.”

“I’m-” Steve’s jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists. “I’m not trying to  _f_ _ool_ you. Damn it, Barnes.”

His voice was barely above a hiss by the time he reached the last sentence, but he knew Bucky heard him loud and clear if the way his eyes narrowed was anything to go by.

(It was. There was something brutal in Bucky’s eyes that spoke of violence and pure anger, but Steve couldn’t say anything. He doubted that Bucky would care at all even if he did find the words to explain what, exactly, it was in his eyes that was so unsettling. Maybe it wasn’t even really the look that bothered Steve. Maybe it was just that Steve missed when Bucky would look at him with that soft kind of laughter in his eyes that always made Steve smile just as much as Bucky did.)

Bucky just shook his head, entirely unmoved by Steve’s clear frustration and anger. “I’m done talking to you, Steve. Just go home. There’s no reason for you to be here.”

“There’s plenty reason-”

" _Go home_ , Steve.”

And, well, maybe if this were someone else than Steve would spend the next few minutes arguing until he was blue in the face, but there was something in Bucky’s expression that froze Steve to the spot and he couldn’t bring himself to form the shape of any words other than, “Um,” for what felt like an eternity.

Bucky’s expression didn’t change. “Get out before I fuckin’ kick you out, Steve. Don’t think I won’t do it.”

“David Underwood, Buck,” Steve said abruptly, finally finding the words to fight back. “Does that name sound familiar to you?”

The words didn’t have the effect Steve had hoped they would, however, because rather than breaking something in Bucky’s eyes went fierce and fiery. “Get the fuck out of my building.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “It does sound familiar, doesn’t it?”

He watched as Bucky gritted his jaw and tilted his head to the side, waiting to see if he’d receive any kind of answer at all or if Bucky was just going to keep pushing back at him as much as he could. At this point, Steve was coming to expect the pushing, although an answer to any of Bucky’s behavior wouldn’t go amiss, in Steve’s mind.

“Steve,” Bucky said, and Steve jolted in surprise at the soft tone that his voice had taken on. He didn’t think he’d heard Bucky talk to him like that in years. Now that he was faced with it, Steve wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself. The moment was shattered, however, when Bucky snapped out a sharp, “ _Get out_.”

Steve swallowed thickly, his hands closing in fists around the material of his jacket. It was stupid but necessary because Steve was well aware that if he didn’t stay in control of his temper than he was likely to punch Bucky or do something else that he’d end up regretting later.

So, instead, Steve took a step back and clenched his jaw. “Fine,” he said. “You win, Bucky. Congratulations. You’ve fucking done it again. If you ever want to have an actual fucking conversation you can come find me here.”

With that said and done, Steve slapped the paper with the address of his office written on it on the bar before he turned on his heel (entirely missing the stricken look on Bucky’s face), and made his way out of the restaurant in a few agitated steps.

He had better things to do with his time than keep arguing with Bucky, no matter how much is heart told him to stay.

_..._

The sunlight was just fading from the windows of the office when there was a knock at the door.

The detective didn’t move for a few minutes, too caught up in his own thoughts to deal with much of anything else. However, when the pace and volume of the knocking increased, the man finally glanced up at the door and grit his teeth.

Finally, the knocking seemed to cease. The man waited for a few minutes with baited breath, completely silent, in the hopes that whoever had been at the door would come back at a later time. Preferably tomorrow, when he wasn’t so caught up in thoughts of the anger in Bucky’s eyes.

In a few minutes, however, the knocking started up again and Steve sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

“Come in!”

The door slid open quietly and someone entered. Steve looked up from his hands and blinked, trying to reign in the surprise that he felt when he identified who was standing in his doorway.

“Natasha,” Steve greeted, his brow furrowing a bit. “Hello. It’s… It’s nice to see you again. What can I help you with?”

Natasha pursed her lips, closing the door behind her, and crossed her arms over her chest. “We can skip the formalities, Mr. Rogers.”

“Um. You can just call me Steve,” Steve said awkwardly, his lips pulling into a grimace. “How did you know where to find me?”

Natasha just arched an eyebrow and didn’t respond, something that had Steve shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He stood, moving around so he was standing in front of his desk.

When it became clear that Natasha wasn’t going to answer, Steve let out a sigh.

“Fine.” He arched an eyebrow at Natasha. “What do you want, then?”

“You need to stay away from James,” Natasha said, her voice quiet even though it sounded like a shout in the silence of Steve’s office.

For a brief second, Steve didn’t even know who Natasha was talking about before he realized that by James she meant  _Bucky_.

A brief thought crossed his mind-  _were Natasha and Bucky in a relationship? Is that why she was so defensive about all this? -_ but Steve quickly shoved it away. He didn’t want to think about that. It made his chest tighten and his stomach twist in knots. He quickly shook the odd feeling away, though, and let his eyes narrow into a glare. He clenched his jaw as well, unable to help himself.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, the look challenging, more so than anything else.

Steve scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can’t tell me what to do,” he informed Natasha.

She pursed her lips, leaning against his desk in order to get face to face with him. Steve refused to move an inch and instead just stared back at her, his eyes narrowed.

“No,” she agreed. “I can’t. But I also have a feeling that if I tell you that you showing up and yelling at him is hurting him you might decide to leave him alone.”

“Hurting him?” Steve wanted to lean back in his seat, just to consider that, but that would be giving in so, instead, he settled in place and fixed as much of a glare as he could muster at Natasha. “If I was hurting him he’d tell me. He’s just pissed off at me. That’s how it’s been ever since I came back from the war.”

Natasha didn’t seem to think that was an adequate response. “You don’t know him as well as you think you do, Rogers. Don’t pretend that you’re still his best friend when you’ve barely talked in years.”

Something stupid like  _I'_ _ll always be his best frien_ _d_  threatened to spill over Steve’s lips, but he bit the words back and forced himself to simply stare back at Natasha blankly.

He wasn’t about to let her win this game.

“Just because you think you know him real well doesn’t mean he’s going to stick around,” Steve said, suddenly, his voice cold.

Natasha’s back straightened into a line, and her eyes narrowed. “What’s your point?”

Steve tried his best not to sneer, but it was a very near thing. “People don’t do things just because you want them to or because you think you know them well. And see, here’s the thing. You don’t know me at all and I have nothing to say to you, so you don’t get to waltz into my office like you own the place and threaten me. You know _nothing_ about what Bucky meant to me and what I meant to him so you don’t fucking get to do that.”

“I think I know more than you ever did,” Natasha said briefly. Her words were calm and she trailed her fingers across Steve’s desk in a listless, meaningless way. “Sometimes the people closest to us are the ones best at hiding things from us.”

Steve’s jaw tightened.He took a deep breath to fight against the anger that welled up in his chest, squared his shoulders, and said, “get the fuck out of my office.”

Natasha clicked her tongue and all Steve wanted to do was punch her. His hands clenched into fists, but he did his best to breathe through the anger while Bucky’s voice ran through his head ( _y_ _ou’re a reckless shit for brains, Rogers. What the fuck do you think you’re going to do? You’re gonna get your ass kicked)_.

“ _Now_ ,” Steve insisted, taking a step towards her. He doubted it was intimidating at all, but he was trying his best to hold himself together.

For a long moment they stood there, not even an inch separating them, before Natasha sighed and turned away from him.

“Fine,” she agreed blandly. “But you should think about it. Don’t pretend that you’re innocent in all this, Rogers. It’s not a pretty look, even on you.”

He watched silently as Natasha reached the door but, before she could actually leave, Steve blurted out, “David Underwood. Do you know who that is?”

Natasha froze, her hand on the doorknob, her back to him and asked, “Where did you hear that name?”

“Does it matter?” Steve replied. “Who is he?”

“He’s nothing,” Natasha said, her tone stiff. “A lie.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s not an answer.”

“I thought you wanted me to leave.” Natasha let go of the doorknob and turned around to look at Steve, her eyes narrowing.

Schooling his expression into a cold mask, Steve crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged in a way that was not quite as casual as he wanted into to be. “I did. But not as much as I want you to tell me what all of this is about.”

Natasha gave him a quick once over, clearly searching for something, before she leaned back and pursed her lips. “David Underwood isn’t a real person,” Natasha said, arching an eyebrow. “We don’t know much about the alias or what it means, other than that it’s connected to a man named Arnim Zola.” 

“And what about Zola?” Steve asked, pushing away the feeling of dread that was building in his stomach. “What can you tell me about him?”

He’d thought that Natasha had been closed off before, but it was nothing compared to the way she was standing now, her shoulders tense and her stance closing in on itself away from him. Nonetheless, Steve persisted by taking a step towards her. 

Natasha didn’t back down- which really wasn’t surprising at all- and instead raised her chin a few inches higher, her eyes intense. “What will you give me?”

Steve faltered in his step, his brow furrowing. “What?”

“I’m not going to give away information that important for free.” Natasha arched an eyebrow. “So what are you going to give me for it?”

For a moment, Steve narrowed his eyes and did his best to search Natasha’s expression. He didn’t know what she expected from him, but it was clear that she wanted  _something_.

Steve pursed his lips. He didn’t think he had much to offer, in the end, but there was something that he could give her, at the very least. He just hoped she would agree with it, considering it was just about the only thing Steve could give.

“I’ll protect Bucky,” he said, his brow furrowing. “I won’t promise to stay away from him, but I promise that no matter what happens I’ll keep him away from it. I’ll take the fall for him, even, if it comes to that.”

Something in Natasha’s gaze hardened before she replied, “Fine.”

Nodding, Steve cleared his throat. “Okay,” he agreed. “Tell me about Zola, then.”

“I only know a few things,” Natasha said and the tone of voice she spoke in made it sound like a warning. “James knows more about him than I do.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Bucky?”

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “I won’t tell you his secrets,” she said. “But I can tell you that Arnim Zola does a lot of business with Alexander Pierce and his goons. He used to work for Schmidt. He’s also been fixated on James for years. I’m not sure why. James never told me, but Zola apparently has been trying to find ways to lure James back to him for several years.”

“Why doesn’t he just go get him?” Steve asked uncertainly.

“Because Zola doesn’t leave his property.” Natasha’s distaste was clear in her words. “And he doesn’t hire people to work for him, so far as we’ve been able to tell.”

Nodding slowly, Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “What... Wait. If David Underwood doesn’t exist then why did some woman hire me to try and figure out why he was being blackmailed?”

“I can’t answer that,” Natasha said blandly after a moment, her eyebrow arched.

Steve frowned. “It’s not like she’s just going to tell me if I ask her about it, though.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and finally asked, “Do you want to know what I would do?”

For a moment, Steve stared at Natasha, his eyes narrowed, just to see if she was joking or not. It was impossible to tell, really, but he finally decided that she looked serious enough. Shrugging, Steve said, “Sure.”

“Play her right back.” A smirk grew on Natasha’s lips. “Go along with it all and see what information you can get out of her. Don’t let her know that you’re onto her.”

Steve arched an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, considering. “I guess... I guess that would work, yeah.”

Natasha arched an eyebrow at him before she dryly replied, “See you around, Rogers,” turned on her heel, and disappeared out the doorway.

After wasting a few seconds staring at the door, Steve moved to settle into his desk, his brow furrowing.

 _Play her right back_.

It didn’t sound like something Steve would normally do, but when it came to helping Bucky, Steve knew that he’d do anything

A game it would be, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> Please feel free to comment or leave some kudos! I live off of them. And you can also find me [right here](nauticalallusions.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you want to chat.


	3. Escape From the City and Follow the Sun

In the early hours of the afternoon, when morning was just transforming into something warmer and brighter, the detective had settled himself into his office, content to watch the hours pass by in the form of the daily bustle outside his window. He had never been a patient man, nor one who enjoyed sitting idly and waiting for something to happen, but he had always enjoyed watching life move around him.

In some ways it was symbolic, and in others it simply made him feel more alive to be reminded that he was a part of the world around him.

Humming quietly, the man straightened up his desk absentmindedly as his eyes continually strayed to and from the window.

While he would have liked to simply gaze outside all day and watch the world move, he knew there was other things that he had to do with his time and he was determined to get as much information as he could about the mysterious case files in his bag as he possibly could.

A knock interrupted his thoughts, and Steve turned to the doorway, arching an eyebrow.

“Come in,” he called out, gently nudging the brief case with the files out of sight.

Steve had been expecting Peggy to walk through the door- she usually didn’t knock, but considering their fight yesterday it wouldn’t surprise Steve if she considered it more polite to let him know she was coming- and, instead, when he glanced upwards he was surprised to lock eyes on someone who was certainly not Peggy Carter.

“Mister Rogers,” Dorothy greeted lightly. She smiled at him, wide and charming, as she gave him what was likely meant to be a demure look but just made something unpleasant settle in the pit of Steve’s stomach. “Hello. How are you today?”

“Hello, Miss Underwood,” Steve replied, his heart rate picking up.  _Play her right back._ “It’s been a good day so far, even though it’s hardly underway. How are you?”

Dorothy’s smile brightened ever so slightly, and Steve raised his chin just a notch. He took a deep breath in, forcing himself to remain calm and easygoing. It was what Dorothy would expect, after all, so it was what he would have to do.

Steve wasn’t the best actor, not by a long shot, but he figured that he could probably pull this off. For Bucky.

“Today has been lovely so far. The weather is gorgeous today. I took a walk around earlier because I couldn’t resist the temptation.”

Steve hummed in agreement, a noncommittal noise that only sounded half interested. When he looked back up, Dorothy was frowning a bit at him, so Steve flashed a smile at her.

“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Is there any particular reason you came by?”

Dorothy shrugged delicately, fiddling with the bangs of her hair. “I wanted to see if you had any updates on my brother’s case. And I... I also kind of wanted to come see you, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve arched an eyebrow. Interesting. He pursed his lips and offered, “I’m glad you came by. I don’t have many updates on your brother’s case, but it’s very good to see you.”

“Oh,” Dorothy said, her eyelashes fluttering a bit. Steve did his best not to be distracted by the way she bit her bottom lip and looked up at him from under her bangs. Clearly, she knew what she was doing. “Well, maybe you can just update me on what you’ve found?”

“I stopped by the automat you told me about.” Steve cleared his throat, straightening up. “I didn’t see anything amiss with it at first glance, but I managed to get a few leads and I’m going to go back tomorrow to check them out.”

Dorothy, oddly, didn’t seem all that disappointed by the news. She offered him a slight frown and a wrinkled nose before moving a few steps closer. Steve arched an eyebrow, watching carefully as she sauntered her way over to him, her hips swaying a bit. The movement seemed rather purposeful, which was kind of ridiculous, but Steve wasn’t about to say that out loud.

“Well, Mister Rogers,” Dorothy said lightly. She took a step closer to him and smiled, a little bit of wickedness trickling into her inviting grin. Steve couldn’t help but lean closer, arching an eyebrow at her in return. “It’s always a pleasure to see you. I suppose I should come here more, shouldn’t I?”

Steve’s lips lifted up in a smile and he said, “I’d never say no to a lady like yourself, Miss Underwood.”

A soft laugh left Dorothy. “Well, then,” she whispered, “I guess I should-”

A loud knock on the door interrupted the moment and diffused any of the tension that existed between them. Steve leaned back in his chair with a frustrated sigh, and Dorothy made a face before standing upright and adjust her skirt ever so slightly.

Steve coughed and called out, “Who’s there?”  
  
“Um.” The sound of the voice startled Steve so thoroughly that he couldn’t even bother to feel upset anymore. “It’s me, Steve.”

Steve blinked a few times, his eyes widening. He barely processed the way Dorothy’s brow furrowed and her nose scrunched up. Instead, Steve pulled himself to his feet, shifting awkwardly back and forth and replied, “Bucky?”

The doorknob jangled a bit and Bucky asked, “Can I come in?”

“Oh, um. Yeah, of course!” Steve blinked and shook his head, trying to gather himself, before making his way over to the door and unlocking it.

Outside in the dirty, dark hallway stood Bucky Barnes, dressed casually. His hair was settled messily atop his head and he was clutching a hat in his hands that he kept twisting back and forth nervously. He looked as beautiful as ever, though, and Steve almost wished he could pause the moment right there and grab his sketchbook so he’d be able to capture Bucky as he was in this moment.

“Um.” Steve cleared his throat, shrugging awkwardly. “Come on in.”

Bucky nodded and stepped inside as Steve moved to the side. Steve stared at Bucky, watching as Bucky shot a hesitant smile at him and whispered, “Thanks.”

For a long moment all Steve was able to do was nod dumbly, his mouth hanging open a bit. “Yeah.”

“Well,” Dorothy said suddenly. Steve whirled around, almost having forgotten that she was there. “It looks like you’re busy now, Mister Rogers.”

“I’m... I’m so sorry, Dottie,” Steve said briefly, making a few flustered hand motions. He glanced over his shoulder to look at Bucky, but Bucky was just standing there, his expression closed off and awkward. “I’ll make it up to you.”

The promise caused Dottie to smile, her lips twisting up into something that was pure teasing and light.

“I’ll hold you to that one, Mister Rogers,” she said, drifting closer to Steve so she could lean up and whisper in his ear, “tomorrow, then?”

Steve raised an eyebrow at the forwardness of it, but hummed nonetheless. “Tomorrow,” he agreed quietly.

With that settled, Dorothy winked at him, grabbed her hat from she’d set it on the chair, and left his office in a matter of seconds. Steve was left grinning stupidly after her, unable to help himself.

The sound of someone clearing their throat jolted Steve out of his stupor and reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his office. Quickly, Steve turned to look at Bucky, whose face was carefully blank all of a sudden. There was something in his eyes that seemed uncomfortable, but Steve chose not to question it. After all, Steve was well aware of how weird it was to watch someone else flirt while standing by and watching.

“What are you doing here, Buck?” Steve asked, his brow furrowed.

Bucky swallowed, the muscles of his jaw tensing and releasing. “I wanted to apologize,” Bucky said abruptly, and Steve stiffened in surprise, his eyes widening.

“Apologize?” He repeated.

It wasn’t as if Steve had misheard Bucky, after all, but it was still startling to watch Bucky nod, all awkward and stiff, in confirmation. Steve wasn’t even sure what to say. At this point, there was too much distance between them for Steve to be able to interpret those four words like he used to do. A few years ago, if Bucky had said something like that to him, Steve would have known exactly what he was talking about. Now, however, he was just confused.

There was a sad droop to Bucky’s shoulders. “I, um. About the other day, I mean. I was an ass, Steve. And I know you were just trying to look out for me. Even if you were... Even if you were being stupid about it. I know you, you know. At least well enough to know that you do stupid things like that sometime.”

Steve had a feeling that he should probably be offended by that but, instead, he snorted. The noise seemed to settle Bucky a bit, because his expression was just a bit lighter when he finally looked up at Steve from the floor.

Fuck, Steve had missed having Bucky look at him like that.

“Do you...” Steve paused, taking a deep breath. “Um, do you want to sit down, maybe? Hang around for a bit?”

The smallest hint of a smile pulled at Bucky’s lips. “I can’t stay for long,” he warned.

Steve shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Yeah, it’s fine. Just, um. Just sit down, Buck.”

Bucky settled into the chair across the desk from Steve, something warm and soft in his eyes. Steve felt comforted just by the sight of that look. It warmed him to the very core and he was far too tempted to reach out and grab Bucky’s hand.

That would be a bad idea, he decided quickly. So, despite the urge, Steve resisted and instead settled his hands atop the desk.

“It’s good to see you,” Steve finally blurted out. “Um. Without us yelling at each other, that is. It’s... It’s been a long time, Buck.”

“I know,” Bucky agreed. He leaned forward ever so slightly and his hair fell in his eyes. “It’s been too long. I’ve. Uh. Fuck. I’ve really missed you, Steve.”

Steve nodded, his heart in his throat. This certainly didn’t feel like a dream, but there was a part of him that couldn’t imagine it being anything other than a fantasy created in his mind. Having Bucky in front of him was enough of a dream come true, but hearing him talk about how much he’d  _missed_ Steve was causing something in Steve’s chest to clench uncomfortably tight.

“I’ve missed you too.” Steve’s shoulders drooped a bit. “The, uh. The apartment is really empty feeling without you.”

Inexplicably, that caused Bucky to throw his head back and let out a real, genuine laugh. The sound of it startled Steve more than he’d like to admit, but he felt the warmth of the sound deep within him. A shaky breath left him, followed by a startled huff of laughter and a smile.

“That little shoebox down in Dumbo?” Bucky asked, still snorting with laughter. “You still live in that fuckin’ mess of a place?”

Steve shrugged, a quick twitch of his shoulders. “I either sleep there or here.”

“Why...” Bucky shook his head, looking a little startled by that. “Why would you keep that place? It’s a piece of shit, Steve. Even you know that.”

Steve did know that. Their Dumbo apartment was the closest thing he’d ever had to home, but the place was a death trap. It was likely to fall apart any second and, really, there was no reason for Steve to still live there. He’d never been able to leave the place, though. It had felt too much like he was leaving pieces of himself behind. Even without Bucky to make their apartment feel larger with the size of his laughter and the easygoing way he treated the space around him, Steve was still incapable of leaving it behind.

He wasn’t about to say that out loud, though.

“I don’t know,” Steve finally said, his voice quiet and a little strained. “I just couldn’t leave it behind, I suppose.”

Something released in Bucky’s face, a sort of tension dissipating entirely. In response, Steve felt his shoulders relax the rest of the way until the two of them were just staring at each other, unable to look away and unable to say anything. In the midst of their heavy silence, Bucky finally looked away from Steve and settled on staring at his hands. Steve, however, couldn’t take his eyes off of Bucky.

“I understand.” Bucky’s voice was hushed and still when he finally looked back up at Steve. “I’m, um. Yeah. I’m glad you still live there. For what it’s worth.”

Steve shrugged, biting at his bottom lip nervously. “I, um. Yeah. Are you... Did you just come here to apologize for yesterday, or...?”

He trailed off, his hands waving vaguely and uselessly around in the air.

Christ, what was he even supposed to say?

Bucky frowned and Steve’s eyes were drawn to the way his lips tugged down at the edges in a way that he probably shouldn’t- no, definitely shouldn’t- be thinking about another man’s lips. Still, he had always known that there was something effortlessly gorgeous about Bucky Barnes, and there had never been away to ignore it.

Still, the point stood.

“I... I’m not entirely sure,” Bucky said, honesty and confusion echoing throughout the room and in his eyes. “I didn’t even know I was going to come here until I ended up here. And then I was just... I don’t know. I couldn’t walk away.”

Steve heard unspoken  _this time_ loud and clear, but he didn’t mention it. Instead, he gave Bucky a small smile. “I’m glad.”

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded, his hair slipping forwards a bit. “Me too.”

They sat quietly and Steve settled on listening to the gentle pattern of Bucky’s breaths in order to focus on something other than the awkwardness between them. He wished he could say something to fix it but, really, there were no words to describe what he was feeling.

“Um.” Steve coughed, finally glancing away from the window to look at Bucky. At the sound of his voice, Bucky’s head jerked upwards, his eyes widening a little bit with something that looked like hope. “Do you maybe want to come get a drink with me?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, a smirk growing at his lips. “Since when do you go out drinking, Rogers?”

“Since I realized there wasn’t much else to spend my time doing,” Steve offered with a dry smile.

That seemed to surprise Bucky, because he leaned back in his chair ever so slightly, his brow furrowing. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re not out there spendin’ your time romancin’ as many dames as possible? I’ve seen you since you’ve got back from the war, Steve. You just tell ‘em you were a captain and give ‘em that cheesy smile and they all swoon at you.”

Steve shrugged, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “It was never really my style, Buck.”

A deadpan look wrote itself across Bucky’s face, one that would have definitely made Steve laugh if it wasn’t for the fact that it was directed at him.

“You don’t do it like me but you still do it, pal. That dame that was here when I walked in? She looked real pissed about being interrupted. And Peggy was something fierce, Steve.”

Steve blinked a few times. “You... Buck, you never met Peggy.”

“Oh, um.” Bucky shrugged, his smile taking on a quality that was more grimace-like. “I saw you two all the time, though. I was home, sometimes. When you were, uh. There. I would hide or try and leave. I didn’t want to interrupt you two or anything.”

Steve chose not to think about how weird and rushed that statement was and instead just rolled his eyes at Bucky. “You know you didn’t have to do that, right?”

Bucky shrugged. “Wanted to.”

“Right.” Steve blinked a few times before finally offering, “drinks?” again.

“Um.” Bucky shifted in his chair, a few more strands of his hair slipping out of the pompadour he’d styled it in. Steve fixated on them for a few seconds, almost reaching out to push them back in place.

The silence had become awkward, however, so Steve cleared his throat and offered, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, Bucky.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Oh, no!” He blurted out. “I... Um. I do. I promise I want to, Steve. It’s just... I already agreed I’d go get drinks with some of my friends. So, um. If you want to tag along I’d like that but I can’t just not show up, you know?”

“Right,” Steve agreed. His eyes narrowed and, as an afterthought, he asked, “are they all assholes like that Rumlow fellow?”

“Oh.” Bucky snorted with laughter, raising his hands up to cover his mouth. It was endearing in far too many ways, and Steve couldn’t stop the smile that tugged his lips upwards. “No, they’re not. You’ve actually met them before, I think.”

Blinking, Steve tried to think about who Bucky could be referring to, but nobody came to mind.

The grin that Bucky gave him kind of seemed to imply that he knew that Steve had no idea who he was talking about.

“I promise it’ll be lots of fun,” Bucky said. He stood up from his chair and pulled on his jacket before turning to wink at Steve. “You comin’, pal?”

Steve was already up and setting his files aside before Bucky could finish the sentence. After all, he’d never been able to say no when Bucky smiled at him like that.

_..._

The pub that the two men walked towards was dingy and dark. It seemed to be the sort of place that one would avoid rather than go to in order to have fun, but, still, it bustled with noise and seemed to be quite full of people.

Whether that was because the place was actually one that many chose to go to or because people were using it as a refuge from the storm that was steadily picking up outside was undetermined, but it gave the small interior an oddly joyful feeling all the same.

The two men walked at different paces, one lingering ever so slightly behind the other. The man in front didn’t let it dissuade him, however, and he turned his head back, cracking a grin as the two waved through the crowd of bodies huddled up by the bar.

“Is it always this crowded here?” Steve asked, his nose scrunching up as he turned to look at Bucky.

Bucky shot a grin over his shoulder. “Usually, yeah,” he said brightly. “O’Connor’s knows how to handle alcohol. And they serve some food too, which is normally pretty tasty stuff.”

Steve frowned. “So... Um, you come here a lot, then?”

“Most nights that I’m free.” Bucky shrugged, turning towards a table in the back. The motion was abrupt but Steve followed it anyways, swerving to keep Bucky in his sights.

There wasn’t much to say in response to that, so Steve just nodded, his brow furrowing a bit. Bucky probably couldn’t even see the nod, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like Bucky had ever needed his approval to do anything, after all.

“Hey, folks,” Bucky said cheerfully, sliding into a booth.

Steve stopped, his feet stuck in place, as he noticed the people who were sitting at the booth.

Natasha greeted Bucky with a dry smile. Clint was too busy trying to balance a spoon on his nose to look at Bucky. The last person in the booth was the one that caught Steve off guard, seeing as the woman was undoubtedly Maria Hill.

“Maria?” Steve asked, his brow furrowing.

Maria’s eyes widened a bit and she turned to look at him, clearly startled. Her face looked just about what Steve felt.

The table and every person seated at it froze. When Steve glanced away from Maria, he was greeted with a startled frown from Bucky, a confused look from Clint, and Natasha glaring at him. The glare wasn’t a surprise, though. Steve was kind of aware that she hated him.

Finally, Steve slid into the seat next to Bucky, grimacing awkwardly.

“Steve,” Maria greeted politely. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of whatever up-do style she had done (fuck if Steve could tell what it was) and rested her hand on the table, her fingers tapping in a way that was far too measured. “It’s good to see you.”

“You two know each other?” Bucky asked, his tone hesitant. “Erm. You two aren’t... Like...?”

“No!” Steve blurted out. “Oh, um. Christ, no.”

Maria raised an eyebrow at him, her lips pursed. Something in her eyes sparked like amusement, but instead of laughing she said, “wow. I didn’t know that being with me disgusted you so much, Steve.”

Realizing how the words had come out, Steve turned bright red. “Fuck. Um, no. That’s not what I meant.” He shot a sheepish smile at Maria. “It’s just... Sam would kill me, right? Or. He wouldn’t  _kill_ me, but he’d give me that sad, blank look and I can’t handle that.”

“Sam?” Maria repeated. Her brow furrowed a bit. “Why would Sam...”

“Oh, shit.” Steve groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Now he’s going to kill me.”

Bucky was definitely snorting with laughter next to him, so Steve took the opportunity to elbow him in the side. The grunt that he got in return was probably more satisfactory than it should have been.

Maria’s eyebrows had lifted and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes that scared and impressed Steve simultaneously.  “Sam,” she repeated, her grin growing. “Well. That’s good to know.”

Steve arched an eyebrow back at her, unable to stop himself from grinning. “Well, if you’re going to do something about that then I wouldn’t mind you telling him that I let it slip. He’ll be thanking me, then.”

“Mmm,” Maria agreed, a wry smile gracing her lips. “I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.”

“So,” Clint said suddenly, leaning around Natasha to peer at Steve. “How do you and Bucky know each other? He refused to tell us anything about you.”

After a mock offended gasp and an overly dramatic look in Bucky’s direction- something that only got an intense eye roll in response- Steve turned to look at Clint and offered, “We grew up together. I think I was five or six the first time we met. We... These boys had cornered me in an alley and were picking on me, and I tried to fight back but I was kind of getting my ass handed to me. Bucky showed up out of nowhere and chased them off.”

“Yeah.” Bucky snorted. “And you were so mad at me.”

Steve shot a glance at Bucky, pleased to see a smile quirked across Bucky’s lips.

“You were mad at him?” Steve and Bucky both turned to look at Clint at the same time. Clint had both his eyebrows raised and disbelief written across his face.

A laugh snorted out of Steve before he could help it. “Yeah,” he said, chuckling to himself. “I was  _really_ mad at him.”

Bucky shook his head, but his expression was one of fond exasperation rather than frustration. “Steve was a tiny little punk when he was younger and he was so angry at  _everything_. Thought he could take on the whole damn world.”

“I could and very well did take on the whole world,” Steve said, biting back a smile. “I was about ready to fight Buck instead of those boys when he interrupted.”

“Yeah, you were.” Bucky snorted and there was a sparkle in his eyes that Steve kind of adored. “You dumb punk. You’re lucky I thought it was funny and didn’t decide to kick your ass.”

Steve arched an eyebrow at Bucky, the smile that he’d been fighting off finally breaking free. “Sure, Buck. You keep telling yourself that. You know that  _you’re_ the one who’s lucky that I decided I wasn’t going to punch you after you told me that one of ‘em bigger boys could’ve stepped on me and squashed me.”

“Oh Christ,” Maria said, surprise and amusement warring in her voice. “You didn’t.”

Bucky scoffed, but his gaze didn’t stray from Steve’s. “Yeah, well, you were a tiny little punk who kept looking for trouble. Nearly killed me a few times, Rogers. Could never make it easy for me, could you?”

“Of course not.” Steve’s grin widened. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Bucky shot a pained grimace at him. “You’re a real piece of work, Rogers.”

“You’re both real pieces of work,” Natasha said, her voice dry. Bucky and Steve finally broke eye contact as they turned to look at her. She had an eyebrow arched, a smirk in place on her lips. “Are you two done reminiscing over your shared childhood now or do we have to keep waiting to order drinks?”

Clint snorted, a gesture that he tried to hide unsuccessfully by ducking his head, and Maria was shaking her head, her amusement clear in her eyes. Steve probably should have been embarrassed but, instead, there was an odd warm feeling in his chest that he couldn’t seem to chase away. He wasn’t sure if it was because it had been such a long time since he had been out like this or if it was because it had been such a long time since he had sat this close to Bucky, since the two of them had talked like this.

As everyone at the table went about discussing drinks, Steve shot a sideways glance at Bucky, watching as he ran a hand through his hair- effectively ruining the slicked back hairstyle he’d had- and couldn’t help the smile that overcame him.

It was definitely being this close to Bucky that was creating the warm feeling, and Steve couldn’t even bring himself to feel concerned about that.

_..._

The streets were empty except for the last stragglers trying to get home, although those people were few and far between. Nonetheless, a small amount of people wandered down the darkened sidewalks, under the dim light provided by the street lamps and the moon and stars.

The night air was crisp, inspiring brisk walks from everyone except for the most inebriated of people. The two men who stumbled down the sidewalk together, arms slung over each other’s shoulders in order to hold themselves up definitely qualified as extremely inebriated.

However, they looked to be the sort of people- even when they were stumbling from too much alcohol- whom one ought to not pick fights with, so people they passed on the sidewalk gave them a fairly wide berth.

It wasn’t long before the two men approached their destination, slowing their stumbling pace ever so slightly in order to extend the duration of their walk together. Nevertheless, the building came in sight soon enough and before long they were walking right up to it, unable to avoid the inevitability of their destination.

A soft giggle left Steve as he came to a stop outside their apartment. Or. The apartment. His apartment. Ugh. Whatever.

“I had fun tonight, Buck,” Steve said quietly, swaying ever so slightly on his feet. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Bucky grinned up at him, and he looked like something out of a dream. His breath smelled strongly of whiskey, but there was also the faint hint of something citrus that Bucky always seemed to bring with him, and the softest whiff of smoke. His hair had long since fell out of its quiff and was falling in his eyes. He looked a bit wild and unkempt, but he still looked gorgeous. His eyes were bright with laughter and his cheeks were flushed and Steve had the oddest urge to lean closer just to see what would happen.

Before he could figure out whether that was a really good idea or a really stupid idea, Bucky leaned back a bit, stumbling against the pavement and grinned up at Steve.

“I’m glad you came,” Bucky said, patting at Steve’s chest. “You need to let loose more, pal.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I think you let loose enough for the both of us, Buck.”

A put-out look wrote itself across Bucky’s face, but it was a cute sort of pout instead of one that Steve figured he should address. So, rather than say anything, Steve just swayed quietly in place for a few seconds, unwilling to release the grasp he had on Bucky’s hip.

“Don’t be a punk,” Bucky said, the words only a little bit slurred.

“Then you gotta stop being a jerk,” Steve protested, poking at Bucky’s arm. Bucky made a face at him in response, one that crinkled his nose up and made him go squinty eyed. It was adorable. Way too adorable. Steve blinked a few times, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind.

Bucky didn’t seem to have anything to say either, so they spent a good few minutes just staring at each other, blue locked on grey-blue before Bucky coughed awkwardly and turned his head upwards to stare at the night sky.

Steve probably should have copied the motion or moved away but, instead, he let his eyes stay on Bucky’s face. His gaze trailed across the line of Bucky’s jaw and the small piece of hair that was curling against his forehead. He traced the shape of Bucky’s nose and the small quirk of his lips as subtly as he could with just his eyes.

When Bucky took a deep breath and turned to look at him again, Steve forced himself to look away from Bucky’s face and move towards the building.

It was better that way. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain what he’d been staring at.

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice was quiet as Steve opened the door to the apartment building.

Steve stopped in the doorway, turning around to look at Bucky. “Yeah, Buck?”

“Um.” Bucky shifted a bit, his lips drawing downwards ever so slightly. Steve was trying to find a way to ask if Bucky was okay (for some reason, the words just wouldn’t come out right) when Bucky finally asked, “do... do you mind if I come by your office tomorrow?”

Something soft and warm settled in Steve’s chest and he didn’t even try to fight off the smile that broke across his face. “I think that sounds like a great idea. I, um. I look forward to it.”

Bucky’s face was all lit up and Steve thought it was actually adorable. Christ.

“Okay,” Bucky agreed. “Um. Good. I’m... I’ll see you tomorrow. I’d better head home. I have to be at the automat early tomorrow.”

Steve tried to think of reasons for Bucky to stay, but he couldn’t think of any fast enough to stop Bucky from leaving so, instead, he just said, “Goodnight, Bucky. See you tomorrow.”

Bucky stopped on the landing, turning around to face Steve. They stared at each other for a minute, silent, before a smile like pure sunshine broke out across Bucky’s face and Steve felt himself melt at the sight of it.

“Goodnight, Steve. Get some rest.”

And with a wink and a smug little nod Bucky was gone.

As he closed the door behind him and made his way to the stairs, Steve couldn’t help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> Please feel free to comment or leave some kudos! They feed my soul. And you can also find me on tumblr [right here](nauticalallusions.tumblr.com) if you want to chat.


	4. Once Upon a Different Life

While the case files that sat on the detective’s desk had been searched through time and time again, that didn’t stop the man from searching them one more time on the off chance that he would find something within them that he had never seen before.

The case that he had been given was false, yes, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t something about the situation that he should be investigating. There was much more to the situation than met the eye at first glance, and the detective was more than determined to fish out every piece of information about the case that he could.

Besides, if Bucky was somehow involved in this situation and in trouble because of it, then Steve was going to do everything within his power to ensure that nothing happened to Bucky.

A polite knock on the door had Steve glancing up, his eyes widening a bit. He knew that Peggy was going to be gone all day- after their fight a few days ago, she had left him a note that said she wouldn’t be by the office for a few days- which meant that there was one of two people outside the door, and Steve wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about seeing either of them, right now.

“Come in,” Steve said, grabbing all the files off of his desk and shoving them inside his briefcase. He watched carefully as the door swung open to reveal the swishing skirts and bright smile of Dorothy Underwood.

Dorothy shut the door behind her after she slipped past it, smiling widely at him. “Hello, Steve.”

“Miss Underwood,” Steve greeted pleasantly, arching an eyebrow as he looked over at the woman. “Um, hello. I didn’t expect to see you here today. Can I help you with something?”

“Oh, not really,” Dorothy said. She smiled easily at Steve, charming and bright. “I just came by to see you, Mister Rogers. And to see if you had any updates for me.”

Steve couldn’t stop the frown that tugged at his lips, then, and he shifted his grasp on his briefcase before carefully setting it on the floor. “Really?” He asked. “I thought you said you wouldn’t come in again until Friday.”

A flicker of something crossed Dorothy’s face, but it was gone before Steve could process what it was. In its place there was a teasing and bright smile that had Steve both excited and uncomfortable.

“Well,” Dorothy simpered, “I didn’t think I’d be free again until Friday but my schedule cleared up and you were the first person I thought of to visit.”

Steve arched an eyebrow, his grin growing just a bit. “Really? I’m honored, Miss Underwood.”

A light giggle left Dorothy, and she came up next to Steve, settling against his desk so they were seated side by side, Steve in his chair and Dorothy smiling down at him from her slightly higher position. Steve arched an eyebrow, a grin growing at his lips.

“You should be honored,” Dorothy replied primly, mischief lighting her face. “I’m a pleasure to be around and you know it.”

“I do.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Steve leaned back in his chair to get a better view of Dorothy. “I’d gladly spend much more time with you, if you showed up here more often.”

Dorothy leaned in towards him, her fingers trailing up his shoulders. “It’s good to know I’m always welcome.”

Steve reached up and tangled their fingers together, smirking. “You are.”

“Steve?” Dorothy asked suddenly, her full, red lips brought together in a pout. Steve arched an eyebrow at the sight. He was well aware that it was entirely inappropriate to be standing here staring at Dorothy’s lips, but he was also aware that Dorothy knew exactly what she was doing.

A hum left him, quiet and rumbling through his chest. “What is it?” He asked.

“How far along are you with my brother’s case? Just… Please be honest with me.”

Steve glanced at Dorothy, his brow furrowing a bit. “I’m not sure, exactly,” he said. “I’ve done a lot of searching around the automat you told me about, but I haven’t been able to find much wrongdoings going on around the place.”

Dorothy frowned, her brow furrowing a bit. “You investigated the owner and everything?”

“I did,” Steve said, hesitating a bit over the words. “The owner is an old friend of mine, Dorothy. I’m sure he’s not doing anything to hurt your brother.”

At those words, something cleared in Dorothy’s expression. Steve felt his brow furrow, at the change, but he didn’t say anything. There was a long moment of silence, one that seemed to reverberate through the room and, finally, Steve cleared his throat.

“I see,” Dorothy said then, smiling at him. “Well, I suppose your time of usefulness has ended then, hasn’t it?”

Steve arched an eyebrow, his nose wrinkling. “I... I suppose it has, yes.”

Dorothy tilted her head back, clicking her tongue lightly against her teeth. “What a shame,” she said, and something in her voice was entirely different. “I actually liked you. Just a little bit.”

She backed up a few steps, just to put a bit of distance between them, but didn’t make any moves to leave Steve’s office. An uncomfortable feeling settled in Steve’s chest.

“What are you doing?” He asked carefully.

Dorothy smiled, but it wasn’t any of the charming smiles she’d been giving him for the past week. It looked more like she was baring her teeth at him, angry and vicious, and the uncomfortable feeling that was tightening at Steve’s chest only became more pronounced.

Steve took a few steps back, skitting around his desk in the hope that putting more space between them would chase away the feeling that was nagging at him.

Then, Dorothy’s smile dropped and her entire stance changed to a fighting stance. Steve froze, his eyes widening.

“I’m doing what I have to do,” Dorothy said and then she was moving, faster than Steve could have ever anticipated.

Dorothy lunged for him and Steve sidestepped, reaching a hand out to block her arm as it came swinging towards his face. She was faster than Steve could have anticipated, and he was a bit out of practice when it came to picking fights. Nonetheless, he fought back as intensely as he could, hoping that he could fight Dorothy off long enough to get out of his office and into the street outside the building.

She seemed to see his intention, though, and got in the way of his path to the door. Steve darted to the side, trying to find an opening but, in doing so, he gave Dorothy one of her own without realizing it. He felt an intense pressure at his side- had she landed a punch? Christ, she hit hard- and as Steve was turning back to block whatever move Dorothy was going to throw at him next he realized she was gone.

Steve blinked, confused by the sudden disappearance.

Letting out a huff, he made his way back towards his desk, absentmindedly reaching a hand out to check where he’d felt the punch.

When he drew his hand back and noticed it was covered in blood, Steve froze, his breath caught in his throat. He glanced down sharply, staring in shock at the glistening handle of the knife that was sticking out of him.

 _Oh_.

“Fuck,” Steve said quietly, stumbling a bit as his vision became hazy. He sank slowly down to the floor, his hand pressed to his side in an effort to stall the bleeding as much as possible 

Not that it mattered, though. Peggy wasn’t in the office. No one was going to be able to help him.

The pressure only seemed to be increasing, and Steve let out a pained noise as the world started to go black around the edges. It was only as his eyes finally slipped closed that he thought he heard a voice- Christ, was that _Bucky?_ \-- calling his name.

Steve couldn’t help but smile.

It was probably wishful thinking, yes, a hallucination or something, but that didn’t change the fact that it was nice to hear Bucky’s voice one last time.

_..._

Steve awoke abruptly, his body jolting as his eyes flew open only to be greeted with an unfamiliar white room. A breath of panic caught in Steve’s chest. What was this place? What was he doing here?

Was he dead?

“Christ, kid,” a voice said from beside him. “You scared the shit outta me.”

Steve blinked groggily, turning his head in search of the voice to find Bucky seated at the foot of his bed. He looked as beautiful as ever, even though his eyes were narrowed into a sharp, intense glare that Steve found a little bit off-putting.

“Oh.” Steve said. He glanced about the room, his brain ten seconds behind his eyes at processing everything around him. “Am I... In a hospital?”

Steve didn’t even need to look at Bucky to see the glare that accompanied his, “are you fucking kidding me?”

For a long moment, Steve fought through the haze he was in. Eventually he settled on the knowledge that he was searching for. His head fell back against the pillow as he let out a loud groan. “Right,” he muttered. “Fuck.”

Bucky snorted. “Sounds about right, pal.”

A few more blinks followed as Steve attempted to process whatever was happening. “Wait. Um. Why... Why are you here, Buck?”

There was silence for a long moment and Steve watched as Bucky stared at the edge of his hospital bed where his hands were resting. Finally, Bucky glanced up at him, his eyes a little sad from where he peered up at Steve through the fringe of his bangs.

“I found you,” Bucky said. “You... You told me to visit. So I thought I would and I came into your office and you were lying on the ground bleeding. I thought you were fucking dead, Steve.”

Steve took in a deep breath and felt it rattle through his chest. His lungs ached with the effort of it all. When he could finally force words out he quietly offered, “but you’re here. Still.”

Bucky shrugged and said, “I never left. I couldn’t. Not until I knew you were okay.”

Something inside Steve, at that very moment, shattered into a thousand pieces and melted all at the same time. It was a feeling he’d never felt before, and one he wasn’t entirely sure whether or not he hated or appreciated simply for what it was.

“But I’m... I’m going to be okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, finally, his words a little stilted. “The doctors said that you’re gonna be fine.”

Steve swallowed. “And you’re still here.”

They just stared at each other, then, the weight of the moment hanging in the air. It was as if there was no way to approach it, but there was also no way to not say anything about it. Then again, Steve Rogers had never been good at leaving well enough alone. Just as he was about to speak up, Bucky raised his head and something in his eyes had changed entirely.

“Yeah. I am.”

There were a thousand things Steve could think of to say, in that moment, most of them starting with  _w_ _hy_. Just as he was gathering himself to ask Bucky outright why he was still here or why he'd even left in the first place, their eyes locked on each other and what Steve ended up saying was definitely neither of those things.

“Are you going to stay?”

Bucky’s eyes widened- Steve couldn't tell if he was surprised or confused, but he was definitely something- and he said, “if you want.”

Steve blinked. “I never wanted you to leave,” he muttered, the words forcing their way out of his lungs before he could even fully process them.  As soon as they were out in the open, however, he glanced down sharply, staring at his hands with the same intensity he held for everything he did in life.

Something shook in Bucky’s voice when he replied, “then I won’t.”

The words allowed Steve to relax, and he sunk a bit into the mattress, a sigh leaving him. “Good,” he mumbled softly, his voice a heavy sleepy mumble with the weight of exhaustion pressing on his chest. “That’s good.”

They didn’t say anything for a long while, then, and it almost surprised Steve that it felt as if they didn’t even need to. They were still so good at saying so much in between the space of nothing, it seemed, even though they hadn’t seen each other for nearly two years. Steve watched Bucky from under hooded eyes, biting back what felt like a smile as he noticed Bucky fiddling uselessly with his hands, repeating the sign for  _shit_ over and over again.

As the movement continued- it seemed to be just a nervous habit Bucky had picked up over the past few years- Steve felt himself stifle a laugh. Bucky glanced up, his eyes narrowed, but he softened as he seemed to read the amusement on Steve’s face.

“What?” Bucky asked quietly, a small smile blooming on his lips.

“Is that the only sign you remember, pal?”

Bucky glanced down at his hands, a bit of alarm written across his face. Indignation quickly replaced that look, however, and he simply rolled his eyes at Steve.

“No,” Bucky said. “I remember plenty of others. I just ain’t got any use for ‘em right now.”

Steve huffed out laughter and let his eyes fall shut. The blackness of the inside of his eyelids was comforting, in a way. “You’re a jerk.”

Bucky’s smile was evident in his voice when he replied, “Shut up. Punk.”

“Are you going to stay tonight?” Steve asked quietly.

The abrupt question wiped the smile off of Bucky’s face, and he spent a few moments just blinking at Steve. Just as Steve was about to take the question back- or, well, at least try to anyways- Bucky cleared his throat and shifted so that they could properly look at each other without Steve having to move too much.

“I...” Bucky paused, squaring his shoulders. “I’m sure I could make up some excuse so they’ll let me stay if that’s what you want.”

Steve let the tension drain out of his shoulders. “I do.”

The words rested in the air, heavy and loaded with meaning, before Bucky leaned back ever so slightly and nodded. His ever-charming smile was pulling at his lips, but there was something grim in his eyes that Steve decided he really didn’t like. Bucky wasn’t supposed to look like that. Not at all, and especially not at him.

No matter what had happened, they just weren’t like that.

“Sure thing, pal,” Bucky agreed. “I’ll go talk to one of the nurses.”

Bucky reached out, patted his ankle, and then stood and slipped out of the room without so much as a sound. Steve laid his head back into his pillow, a frown tugging at his lips. While it was nice to have Bucky here and to be able to talk to him again, there was something about the way Bucky was acting still that bothered Steve more than he could explain. He wished he was tactless enough to just outright ask, but Steve seemed to be incapable of crossing lines like that with Bucky.

There was too much between them, now, and it was like he was back in the war navigating another battlefield.

Well, at the very least, this battlefield wouldn’t kill him if he screwed it up.

Probably.

Bucky slipped back into the room, shutting the door behind him, and sank into the chair by Steve’s bed. Steve quirked his eyebrow and asked, “what did you tell them?”

“That we’re old friends,” Bucky said quietly. “Grew up together in an orphanage and lost track of each other because of the war. I was walking home tonight and saw you getting mugged on some corner. You jumped in to protect your girl and got stabbed. I told your dame I’d wait around until the morning and see how you were doing since it would be improper for her to do since she had to get home.”

Steve blinked a few times. “Oh. Yeah, okay.”

Bucky arched an eyebrow, his nose wrinkling. “Why are you making that face at me?”

“I’m not making any face at you,” Steve said, scrunching up his nose. The look on Bucky’s face at that said, _yeah, sure, pal. If that lets you sleep better_. Steve let out a grumbled sigh and added, “I’m making faces because I don’t have a girl, Buck.”

“Well, I know you’re not with Peggy anymore.” Bucky was definitely rolling his eyes, and Steve was trying his best not to take offense to that. “What about that, ah. Dottie or whatever her name was? The one I met the other day that you were making eyes at.”

Huh. Steve hadn’t even realized he’d been making eyes at Dorothy.

Was that why Bucky had been acting so weird the other day?

(No. That didn’t make any sense. There was no reason for Bucky to feel weird about that. Why would he? Bucky could probably still get any dame he wanted, so there was absolutely no reason he ought to feel jealous or at all uncomfortable about Dorothy.)

“Uh.” Steve let his eyes close. “She’s the one who stabbed me, Buck.”

A breath hissed sharply through the air and they were painfully silent before Bucky finally settled on saying, “shit, pal. You’ve gotta have the worst luck in the whole world when it comes to dames.”

Steve couldn’t stop the snort that exploded from him. “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”

“You’re welcome,” Bucky replied, his accent lilting through his words in a way that Steve’s mind defined outright as  _charming as all get out_. He elected not to say that out loud, however. He figured it was probably not in his best interest to start blurting out all the random thoughts he had about Bucky.

They sat quietly for a moment. The silence was as comforting as it was suffocating, and Steve didn’t know how to approach changing that feeling or interrupting the silence. Still, Steve knew the oppressiveness of the silence wasn’t because of who they were or even everything thing that had taken place between them but because of what had happened to them, and there was something comforting about that.

“I missed you, Buck,” Steve croaked out finally. The words probably weren’t something he should go around spouting but he couldn’t hold them back any longer 

It was worth the embarrassing few seconds just to see the way Bucky’s shoulders settled and watch his eyes soften. Bucky moved his hands, then, reaching them outwards and seemed to hesitate before making an abortive motion and adjusting the blankets that were wrapped around Steve.

“I missed you too, punk.”

Bucky’s voice was barely more than a whisper and Steve wanted nothing more than to reach out and cling to the sound of it forever. He wanted the lilt of Bucky’s voice on the barest puff of air to fill the air around them and settle over every inch of the room so that Steve could always feel as warm and relaxed as he did right now.

Steve sniffled a little, unable to stop himself. “Then why’d you leave?”

“I can’t tell you,” Bucky said, his voice still so quiet. “I’m sorry, Steve. But I can’t talk about that.”

“You have to stop, Buck,” Steve whispered. “You can’t keep hiding from me so  _please_ , just tell me what’s wrong.”

Bucky didn’t look up from his hands, but his whole body seemed to sag ever so slightly, the fight draining out of him entirely, and Steve decided to take that as a good sign. He stayed quiet and just watched as Bucky’s hands twitched and clenched a few times.

Finally, Bucky said, “I’m sorry, Stevie. It ain’t something that I can just go around talking about.”

Steve sighed but didn’t argue. Instead, he reached out and patted Bucky’s hand quickly before letting his head fall back onto the soft pillows behind him.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll stop asking, Buck. But... But you have to promise me that you won’t keep running away from me. You’re my best friend and I don’t want to be without you anymore. Not again, Bucky. I’ve lost all of my family, please don’t make me lose anymore.”

“Shh.” Bucky smiled at him, a pained, sad, little smile that broke Steve’s heart and forced pressure to build in his chest. “It’s okay, Stevie. I’m not going anywhere this time. I swear.”

“You’re sure?”

They both ignored the vulnerable shake in Steve’s voice and, instead, focused on the way Bucky’s hands were smoothing the sheets of the hospital bed near where he was sitting. It was an oddly comforting motion, and Steve barely restrained himself from asking Bucky to never stop.

“I’m sure,” Bucky agreed. “I... Last time I was... Well. I was being an idiot, Steve. It was... It was necessary, I think. Maybe. But... Still. It was really dumb and I regret it every day. I wish I could go back and smack myself over the head before I ever thought that walking away from you and leaving your reckless ass alone was a good idea.”

Steve burst into laughter but quickly tapered off into a pained groan, his hand coming to hover near his side where the stab wound was aching.

Bucky’s eyes widened, a little bit panicked. “Steve?”

After blinking a few times to chase off the haze of pain in his vision, Steve cleared his throat and smiled up at Bucky. Bucky glared at him in return. Steve hadn’t really expected anything else, actually, but he pouted back at Bucky anyways, even though he knew it would be useless against the might that was Bucky Barnes’s exasperated glare.

“I’m fine,” Steve settled on saying. “Just, ah. Forgot I had a knife wound in my side and all. My bad.”

The long-suffering sigh that left Bucky made Steve want to laugh again, but he resisted the urge. He didn’t want to go aggravating his side any more than he had to, after all, and he didn’t need to give Bucky more reasons to try and mother him.

“You’re such a pain in the ass, Rogers.”

Steve grinned, pressing the smile into his pillow so Bucky wouldn’t see it. “Yeah,” he agreed. “And you give it as good as you get it, Barnes.”

A startled laugh left Bucky. The sound was as full-bodied and throaty as Steve had remembered it, and he felt himself relax into it.

Fuck, he’d missed Bucky.

“I’m gonna sleep now,” Steve mumbled, chancing one last look at Bucky before he closed his eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, okay, Steve.” Bucky’s voice was soft and gentle and Steve melted into it. He wanted to stay here, in the warmth of this room, surrounded by soft blankets and pillows, with the weight of Bucky’s voice washing over him for the rest of his life. “You do that, buddy.”

Steve shifted his head to the other side of his pillow. Just as he took a deep breath to let himself fully relax, he asked one last time, “and you’re still gonna be here, right?”

“Of course,” Bucky agreed. “I’ll be right over here when you wake up. Don’t worry about it.”

And, with that reassurance, Steve let himself sink into the blackness and allowed for sleep to take him, the image of Bucky’s soft expression fading into the blackness of his eyelids.

_..._

The next morning dawned bright and, despite the injury that he had suffered only the day before, the light that flooded in through the windows only made the man ache for the ability to go outside. Being cooped up in a bed had never been a pleasant experience for him, despite the fact that it was one he was extremely familiar with.

The bright sunlight only served to pour salt in the wounds he was already suffering, it’s brightness a painful reminder of the fact that he was currently settled in bed with nothing to do other than sit and stare out the window as the world continued to move around him.

Steve sighed, turning his head to look at Bucky’s hunched over form. He had yet to wake up, so Steve allowed himself a few silent moments of watching Bucky sleep rather than watching the morning begin outside.

It was far more peaceful to watch the flutter of Bucky’s eyelashes against his skin as he dreamed or the way that Bucky’s chest rose and fell gently with the pace of his breathing. Steve reached out hesitantly and rested his hand on top of Bucky’s, only slightly surprised when Bucky’s hand twitched and moved on top of his. Steve glanced up, eyes widening, but Bucky was still sound asleep, soft mumbling noises leaving his lips in a sleep-heavy drawl.

However, the peace of the moment was interrupted when a door slammed somewhere down the hallway, causing Bucky to wake abruptly, shaking away the tendrils of sleep that clung to his entire being as he tried to figure out where he was and what was going on.

Steve moved his hand away as slowly as he could, trying his best not to draw attention to the fact that he and Bucky had sort of been holding hands for the past few minutes.

“Steve?” Bucky croaked out, his eyes narrowing. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Steve said quietly. “Something happened down the hallway, but nobody’s been in here yet this morning.”

Bucky blinked, his eyes still hazy, before stretching lazily. He looked oddly cat-like and limber, suddenly, something that caught Steve only slightly off guard. It was something that Steve felt as if he shouldn’t appreciate as much as he actually did, but there was no stopping the smirk that twisted his lips upwards.

When Bucky’s gaze finally focused a bit more, he quickly noticed the look on Steve’s face, despite Steve’s best efforts to hide the look from him.

“What?” Bucky asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Steve shook his head. “Nothing,” he offered, the warm feeling in his chest causing him to smile almost giddily. “I just... Um. I haven’t seen you half awake in a while. I forgot how stupid you looked, Barnes.”

Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Rogers.”

A quiet laugh escaped Steve at the words, but he did as Bucky asked and went silent, his eyes straying back to the window again. Steve was certain that Bucky knew what the look on his face meant, just as he knew that it was impossible that Bucky could have missed the change in his demeanor. Still, Bucky didn’t say anything, and Steve couldn’t decide if he was grateful for that or not.

“Do you think they’ll let me out of here today?” Steve asked.

“Hell no,” Bucky said. “You were  _stabbed_ yesterday, Rogers. There’s no damn way they’re letting you out of his building until at _least_ tomorrow.”

Steve sighed, impatience dripping into the tone of it. Bucky gave him  _A Look_ , but that wasn’t something that was going to stop Steve from complaining, and they were both well aware of that.

“Let’s just talk, then.” Bucky’s offer was abrupt, but Steve felt himself warm a little bit at the meaning behind it. “Come on. Ask me some questions. I’m sure you have something you’re itchin’ to poke around in, so now’s the time.”

They were silent as that offer sunk in, but it only took a few seconds for Steve to come up with a multitude of questions that he wanted to ask Bucky, before he finally opened his mouth and, “Will you tell me about why Zola is so interested in coming after you?” escaped him.

The question startled Bucky if the way his eyes widened was anything to go by, but it didn’t seem to anger him. Instead, Bucky glanced down at his hands, his brow furrowed and his eyes a little soft.

“Who told you about that?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Um.” Steve cleared his throat, looking at his hands sheepishly. “Natasha came by my office the day after I talked to you in the automat. She was just trying to threaten me, but I ended up asking her about David Underwood and Zola to see what she knew. She told me a few things about David Underwood, but she told me that she couldn’t say anything about Zola and that it would be better if I asked you about it.”

Bucky cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, his eyes moving to look out the window, but he didn’t look defensive or anything. Steve waited silently while Bucky took a deep breath, closed his eyes briefly, and then turned to look at him again.

“When I came back from the war I was... Not well,” Bucky said, his eyes narrowing a bit. “I... You saw some of it when you first came back to, but I was mad. At everything. For a really long time. And... And you weren’t around, so I did some stupid stuff.”

Steve nodded, watching Bucky carefully. “You started hanging out with Rumlow and his friends and working for Pierce.”

“Right.” Bucky nodded, fumbling his fingers together nervously. “Um. Zola... worked for Pierce as well as a couple other really nasty people. Or, well. He still works for them, but you know."

“So what happened?” Steve asked.

Bucky sighed, his lips folding inward. “A lot of their business was selling drugs and... At some point I started running for them. I... I don’t even remember how it started.”

The words came out of Bucky slowly and hesitantly, but Steve didn’t dare to interrupt. The gravity of the situation pushed at his chest, and he couldn’t bring himself to take a breath deep enough to push out whatever words he would even try to say.

“After you came back and... everything happened between us, I started doing more work for Pierce. Eventually, he sent me on runs to deliver things to this guy who lived in some huge mansion. The guy... When I got there, he, um.” Bucky cleared his throat. His hands were clenched on the arms of the chair he’d been settled in for the past few hours. “He invited me inside and started to tell me about this new drug that he and Pierce were trying to make. He started calling it Winter.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed, but he wasn’t entirely sure what to say so he simply replied, “Okay.”

Bucky finally looked up at him and smiled, a hint of sadness in it. Steve felt his stomach twist up at the sight of that smile. “He said that he needed someone to test the drug. When I told him that I didn’t want any of it, he... Well, he surprised me. He drugged me and locked me up in his basement for... I don’t even know how long so he could test the drug on me. After a while he sort of just let me go. I went back to Pierce and told him what had happened and... When I was there I realized that he had known what Zola was going to do to me. So, I threatened him and he told me that I could stop running for him. And a few days later I went back to Zola’s house and destroyed all of the Winter that he had. Then my neighbors told me they were selling their automat and I bought it.”

“Bucky,” Steve whispered, reaching out and placing his hand over Bucky’s again.

“It’s okay.” Bucky looked up with a small smile. “I’m okay, Steve. But, um... I’m not sure exactly why Zola’s coming after me. It’s either for revenge because I destroyed Winter or because he thinks there’s some way he can get some of the drug from me or something. I don’t know.”

“Why doesn’t he just remake it?” Steve asked, a frown tugging his lips downwards.

“He can’t,” Bucky replied, a dry smile on his lips. “When I destroyed the supply he had I stole his recipe or whatever the hell it is.”

Steve arched an eyebrow. “He can’t make drugs without a... recipe?”

“It’s, um. It’s why he won’t leave his house,” Bucky said. “He... There’s something wrong with him and he doesn’t remember things right all the time. I don’t know what it is, but he used to just talk to me when he thought I was out of it and I remembered him mentioning it.”

“Let me help you get him,” Steve said abruptly. “He needs to be stopped.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes a bit, pursed his lips, and searched Steve’s face for something. Whatever it was that he was looking for, he seemed to find it, suddenly, and something in his eyes cleared.

“Okay.” Bucky nodded, shrugging a bit. “Alright. When you get out of here, let’s go get the bastard.”

Steve bit back a smile and said, “I’m getting out of here today,” in an effort to lighten the mood some.

In a split second, Bucky’s eyes were narrowed. “Don’t you dare, Rogers. Don’t even try.”

And, well. If Steve couldn’t stop the smile from splitting across his face than no one else needed to know.

This moment was just for them, after all.

_..._

It was in the late hours of the evening that a group of people once again settled into a table at the L&L automat. The man sat at the edge of the booth kept glancing around the restaurant, his entire being a little jittery.

The other people at the table seemed confused as to what was happening, but they were attuned enough to the man’s behavior to know when it was best not to ask him questions. Instead, they all waited despite not knowing what it was they were waiting for.

However, after a few long minutes of more silent waiting, one of the men cracked.

“Um, Steve?” Sam asked, “What are we doing here?”

Steve turned to look at his friends, arching an eyebrow at them. Sam was giving him an expectant look, while Peggy and Daniel were both just staring at him, expressions almost blank.

“We’re here to help put Arnim Zola in jail,” a voice piped up from the other side of the restaurant, and they all turned to see Bucky, Natasha, Maria, and Clint emerging from the back room. Steve’s shoulders sagged a bit in relief.

“Um.” Steve cleared his throat and motioned carefully to each person as he said their name. “Sam, Daniel, Peggy... This is Bucky, Natasha, and Clint.”

There was a split second of silence before Sam said, “Maria? What’s going on?”

Maria turned her head a bit to look at Sam and arched an eyebrow. Finally, she grabbed a chair from nearby and dragged it over to the table so that she could sit down next to them. “I’ve worked here for a while,” Maria said, arching an eyebrow. “And not as a waitress.”

Peggy was frowning now too, her eyes narrowing more and more as everyone spoke. “Steve,” she said. “What’s going on here?”

Steve sighed, grimacing a bit. He shot a glance at Bucky who- because he was supremely unhelpful at all times- just shrugged and gave a _go on_ motion with his hand. Steve glared at him for a brief moment before he turned back to his friends.

“Look,” he said. “This woman came into my office a few days ago and asked me to investigate this place. She said it was... A front for some shady business and that they were blackmailing her brother. Well, as it turns out, her brother isn’t even real, there’s definitely not anything illegal happening here, and she most likely lied about her identity too, because she tried to kill me a couple days ago. The only reason that I’m still alive is because of Bucky.”

Peggy looked vaguely horrified at Steve’s words and Daniel was nodding seriously, but Sam was making disappointed faces at him, so Steve turned to him with a frown.

“What?” Steve asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Nothing,” Sam said. “It’s just... You could’ve told someone else what was going on, you know.”

Steve shot a sheepish smile at Sam. “I’m telling you now?” He offered, shrugging.

The eye roll that Sam responded with was probably what Steve deserved, but he still scoffed, wrinkling his nose up.

“Zola,” Daniel said briefly. “You all have information about him? The NYPD has been trying to catch him for years. He’s... He’s one of the biggest names in the drug business right now.”

Steve glanced at Bucky, but he was staring down at his hands. Natasha seemed to realize that he wasn’t about to say anything, so she turned to Daniel and offered, “we’ve been surveilling his house for several months now.”

Daniel blinked. “Months?” He repeated. “How... How do you even know where he lives?”

“I’ve been there before,” Bucky said abruptly, glancing up at the table. “He held me there for a few weeks and... tortured me, really.”

“Why are you still going after him, then?” Peggy asked, her eyes narrowing a bit.

“He’s been trying to come after Bucky for a while,” Clint said, tapping his fingers against the table. “He thinks that Bucky has something he wants.”

All eyes turned to look at Bucky, who had gone back to staring intensely at his hands.

“Do you?” Sam asked, his eyes narrowing.

Bucky glanced up, frowning. “No. I destroyed what he wants from me. Burned it ages ago. He doesn’t that, though, and he’s been doing everything he can to try and find me. I suspect he hired Dorothy Underwood or... Whatever her actual name is and they made up the false story about her brother so that she could get people to investigate around town and find me.”

Daniel arched an eyebrow, glancing around the room before looking back at Bucky. “And... And you have a way to catch him?”

Bucky took a deep breath, looking hesitantly around the table. “I do. It’s, um... It’s a pretty stupid plan and it’s really dangerous, but I think it’ll work.”

Natasha settled back in her chair, her arms crossing over her chest. “You know how I feel about this idea, James. But you can go ahead and tell them about it.”

Peggy was still frowning at Steve, while Sam and Maria were making eyes at each other. Clint shifted from his seat next to Steve, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of Bucky.

“Okay,” Daniel said. “If... If you’re okay with that then let’s... Let’s do it.”

_..._

The argument about the dangers of the situation only lasted for a few brief minutes. It was full of angrily whispered words and disbelieving looks, but no voices ever escalated above a yell.

Despite the danger and risk of the plan, they all came to an agreement that they didn’t have many other options. If they wanted to end this soon, which they certainly did, then they needed a plan that could be acted upon immediately and no one could come up with anything that was better than the plan already in place.

Still, Steve couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that clung to his shoulders and tried to weigh him down.

“This is a terrible idea,” Steve hissed, turning to look at Bucky. “It’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“It could be worse,” Bucky muttered to him. “I could be going over there alone.”

Steve let out an angry huff of air, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t joke about that. This is really dangerous, Bucky.”

“I know,” Bucky said quietly. “But it’s the only way that this will work. So... Please. Just... Go talk to your friends. Make sure they’re all okay with this. I’ll be back in a couple minutes, okay? I’m going to go let Natasha yell at me for a few minutes.”

A small smile pulled Steve’s lips upwards. “Yeah, you have fun with that,” he said, watching Bucky carefully as he walked towards the back room. He stopped just before the door however, looking over his shoulder to smile at Steve.

Steve turned back to the table his friends were seated out, frowning at them.

Peggy seemed to notice his stare first and stood abruptly, her brow furrowing. “Can we talk?” She asked.

Nodding, Steve motioned to the side of the room, and the two of them stepped away, ducking in close together to keep most of the conversation private.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” Peggy said quietly. “If I had known just how much James meant to you then I wouldn’t have been so harsh.”

Steve stilled, his breath caught in his chest. “What... What are you talking about?”

Peggy gave him A Look, one that had Steve’s heart rate picking up in his chest. “Steve... You don’t have to lie to me, you know. It’s very obvious that you’re in love with him.”

The way she said it, so casual-like, had Steve gripping at the sides of his jacket in order to hide the way his hands were shaking.

“I’m... I’m not queer, Pegs. We were together, remember?”

Peggy rolled her eyes at him. “I’m aware,” she told him, her lips pursed. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for men as well and Steve, please. It’s very clear that you feel something for James. Don’t try and pretend that you don’t. We know each other too well for this.”

“I-” Steve made an aborted motion with his hands, a pained grimace settling on his face. “I don’t know what I feel.”

“I think you do,” Peggy said quietly. “You’re just scared to admit it. And that’s okay, Steve. Just make sure he stays safe, and please don’t wait until it’s too late to talk to him. Alright?”

Steve let out a harsh breath, his eyes narrowing a bit. “Peggy,” he whispered, swallowing a bit. Peggy looked up at him and her gaze was so genuine and gentle that Steve couldn’t help but crack under the pressure of it. “Thank you. For... For everything you’ve done for me. I’m... You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met in my life. And… And I’m so glad you and Daniel found each other.”

A soft touch to his hand had Steve taking in a deep breath, and he glanced down to find Peggy’s hand settled on top of his own. “Thank you, Steve.”

Steve nodded, swallowing, and was just about to say something else when he heard Peggy let out a startled laugh. Steve blinked at her, confusion marring his features.

“Looks like they finally figured everything out,” Peggy said lightly, and Steve turned around to see Sam and Maria wrapped around each other, kissing in a way that he wasn’t sure was  _entirely_ appropriate for a semi-public location.

“Damn,” Clint said, and Steve turned to look at him, his eyes widening a bit. “That’s kind of a show, isn’t it?”

“Um...” Steve wasn’t entirely sure there was an appropriate way to answer that, but Peggy was snorting with laughter next to him, so he figured that there were worse things that could be happening. Finally, he shook his head and turned back to Clint. “Is Natasha done yelling at Bucky, yet?”

Clint grinned, his eyes brightening at the mention of Natasha. (Which... Actually made a lot of sense, now that Steve thought about it. Interesting.) “Yeah, she is,” he said. “They’ll be out here in a second. They were having one of their intense staredown conversations, so I figured it was better to leave them alone for a few minutes.”

“Are you worried about this plan?” Steve asked, his eyes straying back over to Sam and Maria, who had finally stopped kissing but were still curled around each other, talking in hushed whispers. Steve was going to have to ask Sam what that conversation was about later.

“A little,” Clint said. Steve glanced at him, but Clint’s face betrayed nothing. “But Bucky’s been through far worse. And you’ll be with him, yeah? You’re not going to let anything happen to him.”

Steve blinked, his eyes narrowing in surprise. “Oh, I... Um. I’m-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Clint winked at him. “I won’t tell anybody.”

Okay, then. Steve was apparently far less subtle than he thought he was.

 _Fuck_.

He was trying to figure out whether or not he should freak out when the door to the back room swung open and Bucky and Natasha came out. Steve’s were automatically drawn to Bucky and, when Bucky looked up at him with a smile, he couldn’t help but smile back, the tension leaving his shoulders.

It was going to be okay. They were both going to be okay.

Steve was determined to make that the truth.

_..._

The street in front of the house was empty of almost all people. It was an odd change from the crowded streets the men were used to, but they didn’t comment on it. Instead, they approached the house calmly before the dark-haired man pulled the other into an alleyway off to the side of the house.

The two stood there silently for far too long, just staring at each other, entirely unsure what to say to each other.

Finally, they looked away from each other, breathing in steadying puffs of air in an attempt to calm down.

The nerves were catching up to him, though, because Steve had begun to breathe shallowly, his heart pounding within his chest.

Bucky turned to look at him rather abruptly. Evidently, he'd noticed the change of pace in Steve’s breaths. Steve probably shouldn't be surprised by that. Bucky had spent half their childhood listening to Steve’s breathing to make sure he wasn't going to have an asthma attack. Of course he would pay attention to Steve’s breathing.

“Steve,” Bucky said quietly, a frown marring his features. “ _Stevie._ Take a deep breath, okay?”

Steve scoffed, making a face at Bucky. “I'm trying, but this is probably the worst thing we've ever done, Buck.”

A snort escaped Bucky, but he was smiling at Steve. “Yeah, I know it is, pal. But it's not like we have much of a choice, you know?”

Steve sighed and, after a brief moment of consideration, he pressed close enough to Bucky to give him a hug, before he quickly pulled back, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Okay,” Steve finally allowed. “Let's go get this over with.”

Bucky laughed briefly, a laugh that sounded grimmer than anything else before he patted Steve on the shoulder and pushed past him into the street. It was only a two minute walk from the alleyway they'd ducked into and the front door of the house they approached.

Steve watched as Bucky took a deep breath in before reaching out and knocking impatiently at the wood paneling of the door.

It took a few minutes but, eventually, the door swung open to reveal Dorothy. Steve pursed his lips in an effort to hide the frown that threatened to take over his face.

Dorothy stared at the two of them and blinked in surprise, her eyes widening a bit.

“I'm James Barnes,” Bucky said abruptly. “And I’d like to talk to Zola.”

Dorothy was quiet for a moment before she narrowed her eyes and turned to look at Steve. “And you? Why are you here?”

“I wouldn't let him come alone,  _Dorothy_.” Steve felt a victorious grin pull at his lips when Dorothy-or-whoever-she-was grimaced at the use of the name. “So you're going to go ahead and let both of us in.”

For a tense few minutes, Dorothy looked back and forth between the two of them- likely trying to figure out if they were lying or not- before she finally stepped aside and let them in. “Fine,” she said. “Zola is downstairs in the basement.” A sweet smile crossed her face and Steve grit his teeth. “I’ll take you to him.”

Steve’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t make any move to argue with that. Instead, he stepped in the doorway after Bucky, following as closely behind him as he could.

The tension in the air was palpable as they made their way through the house slowly. Steve wanted more than anything to look at Bucky and make sure he was okay, but he refused to take his eyes off of Dorothy because he couldn’t shake the doubt that she was going to do something awful.

It wasn’t that long of a walk to the basement, but the awkward and tense silence certainly made it seem that way.

“This way,” Dorothy said, opening a door and motioning down the stairs. Bucky gave her an intense glare, but he made his way through the door anyways. Steve cut Dorothy off before she could manage to get in between him and Bucky, although having her behind them definitely didn’t make Steve feel comfortable at all.

They reached the landing of the basement to complete silence. Dorothy stepped around them, glaring at both of them before he turned into a room off to the side, knocking at the door. “Arnim? There are people here to see you. A James Barnes?”

After a few seconds of silence, the door to the room swung open and Bucky stiffened, taking a step back and nearly stepping into Steve.

“Ah, Mr. Barnes,” the man who emerged said. He was small and had a smile on his face that reminded Steve of a snake. “It is a pleasure to see you again. What has caused you to return to me?”

Bucky snatched a piece of paper from his pocket and threw it in Zola’s direction. “This needs to stop, so here you go. Take the damn thing.”

Zola’s eyes widened, and he snatched the paper off the floor, his eyes quickly scanning over the words on it. “This... I knew you stole it from me.”

Bucky shrugged, a bland smile on his lips. “I have some of the stock, too.”

“You-” Zola lunged forward, but Steve put himself in between the two of them in a flash. “Give it to me.”

“I didn’t bring it with me.” Bucky scoffed. “I left it outside.”

“Bring it down to me,” Zola ordered, his eyes narrowing as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed, sneering at Zola.

“There’s no way in hell I’m going to bring it to you, you piece of shit,” Bucky said sharply. “You can come damn well get it or you ain’t gettin’ nothing.”

With that said and done, Bucky turned on his heel and made his way back up the stairs. Steve shot a glance at Dorothy and Zola over his shoulder before he was following after Bucky.

They were out in the sunshine again a few minutes later. “Do you think it worked?” Steve asked Bucky, his eyes a little wide.

“Who knows?” Bucky replied. He glanced down into the nearest alleyway, nodding when he noticed Natasha and Maria hiding in the shadows of the world. “All that matters is that they both come up there.”

They both stood out in front of the house until the door creaked open, revealing Zola with Dorothy following closely behind him.

Zola moved slowly and hesitantly, but they came forward to meet Steve and Bucky on the sidewalk anyways. Bucky grinned a dark, angry sort of grin, before stepping back with a cheerful, “glad you decided to come join us.”

And, in a split second, Natasha, Maria, Peggy, Clint, and Sam had come to join them.

In a way, the fight itself was anticlimactic, considering that the fight was over within minutes. Dorothy was fast and a skilled fighter, but she wasn’t prepared to fight against Natasha, Peggy, and Maria all at once. Zola didn’t even try and fight, just went silently into the cuffs that Daniel had given to Sam and Clint, a grimace written across his face.

Bucky sagged backward in relief at the sight of Zola in cuffs, however, and Steve reached a hand out to steady him.

Peggy glanced over at the two of them and grinned, winking when she and Steve locked eyes. “I'll take them both to Daniel. You take him home,” she said gently. “You both deserve it.”

Steve smiled back, ducking his head sheepishly before turning back to Bucky.

“Come on,” he said, patting lightly at Bucky’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

_..._

The evening was barely dawning by the time the two men approached the apartment. The sky was full of colors that were just beginning to fade, and the two took a few seconds to look up at it before they made their way up the steps and into the apartment building.

There was no one to be seen inside the building, but it didn’t matter. In fact, they preferred it that way. They were both exhausted after all, and it was far easier to not talk as they made their way up three flights of stairs and into the apartment that they had both once lived in.

“I missed this place,” Bucky said quietly, his fingers trailing across the wall of the hallway.

Steve smiled ever so slightly as he watched Bucky wander into the place and make himself comfortable.

They were silent briefly before Steve said, “Buck. Why did you never tell me about any of this?”

“I…” Bucky cleared his throat and blinked a few times. “I wanted to protect you from all of it, I guess.”

“Is that why you moved out? Why you are so angry at me?” Steve asked, frowning a bit. “Was it because you were trying to make sure I avoided all of this?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said quietly. He looked down at the floor, his eyes tracing over the pattern of the wood. “It was... Well. You know most of what was going on with me around then. It wasn't easy."

Steve frowned. “Most of?”

An uncomfortable look wrote itself across Bucky’s face. “Oh,” he said. “Um. Yeah, most of. There was... a lot of reasons, but there was another that...”

“Are we finally going to talk about this?” Steve asked.  He raised an eyebrow at Bucky, who stared back at him, lips pursed and eyes narrowed.

“We shouldn’t,” Bucky said. His shoulders sagged ever so slightly, some of the tension draining out of him. “It would probably be best if we didn’t ever talk about it, Steve.”

Steve sighed, his brow furrowing. “We need to talk about it, Bucky. I don’t think the two of us can keep going on like this.”

Bucky seemed to accept Steve’s words, but he didn’t seem to be particularly enthused by the idea of their conversation. Steve watched as Bucky turned away from him, moving to stare out the window of their- well, not theirs anymore. Just Steve’s, now- apartment. He tried his best not to say anything. There was no point in pushing Bucky to speak, even though his tongue and his mind were at war with the decision.

Instead, they stood in silence, the sound of their breathing and the bustling of the street outside the only noise to permeate the hushed atmosphere around them.

“Fine,” Bucky finally said, quiet and oddly subdued as he turned back to look at Steve. “Fine, Steve. What do you want to know?”

“Why did you leave? Why do you keep leaving?” Steve couldn’t help the way his voice broke over the words, but he tried his best to pretend it hadn’t happened.

Bucky sighed, his eyes moving down to his feet. “It’s, um. Oh, fuck. There’s...”

“What?” Steve asked, his eyes narrowing. “Bucky.  _Buck_. Please just tell me.”

Bucky finally looked back up at Steve, his gaze nervous and hesitant. “There’s a lot of explanations that I owe you, Steve. And I think I’ll probably need to say most of them and I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Just start somewhere, Buck. Please.”

For a minute, it almost seemed as if Bucky wasn’t going to say anything or was just going to walk away but, finally, something in his stance seemed to shift. Bucky shrugged, his face a little helpless. “I’m...  Fuck. I’m queer, Steve.”

Steve blinked a few times, his eyebrows pulling inward. “You’re... Um. Sorry, I just-”

Bucky was staring at his feet now, but Steve couldn’t think of anything to say. Not because he was upset at Bucky- he had no reason to be, after all- but because he hadn’t exactly expected that this was the turn their conversation was going to take.

“I can leave,” Bucky muttered after too many minutes of silence.

“Oh!” Steve’s shoulders jerked a bit and he shook his head quickly. “No. Hey, no, no. There’s nothing wrong with that, Buck. I just... For some reason I didn’t think that this was what we’d be talking about.”

The nervous look in Bucky’s eyes faded a bit, but he still didn’t seem entirely comfortable in their- Steve’s apartment, not theirs- apartment. Steve reached a hand out, slowly and gently while making sure that Bucky could see it, and rested it on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky leaned ever so slightly towards the touch. The stood there, just staring at each other for a few minutes, quiet and blank.

“Okay. Well,” Bucky said, “I’m... I’m queer. And... “ There was another long pause, awkward and bordering on tense before Bucky finally added, “and I was... I wasn’t in a good place after the war. And I came back here and you were still there and I just...”

Steve tightened his grasp on Bucky’s shoulder just a bit, almost as if he was afraid that Bucky would run away again if he let go enough. The look in Bucky’s eyes seemed to imply a want to run, and Steve really didn’t think he’d be able to handle that.

“I kind of fell apart, I guess,” Bucky said. “Which is when I got involved with... With Rumlow and those asses.”

Steve’s brow furrowed a bit. “Yeah, I remember them. I hated them.”

A dry smile graced Bucky’s lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes.  Steve wanted to pull Bucky closer to him, hug him or  _something_ , but he resisted the urge when he noticed Bucky’s nervous shifting around. “You were right to be mad at me about that, you know. I knew it back then too. They were no good and there was never any reason for me to be wasting my time on them.”

“Why did you, then?” Steve asked. “And why did me getting angry at you for being around them make you leave, Buck?”

“It wasn’t...” A frustrated look crossed Bucky’s face. “That wasn’t what it was. That’s not why I left. That was... It was just an excuse so that I didn’t have to actually tell you the truth.”

“Can you tell me the truth now, then?”

Bucky stared at him for a moment, his expression guarded, before he stepped away from Steve, shrugging off the hold that Steve had on his shoulder. “I don’t know if you want to hear it, Stevie.”

Steve shook his head, crossing his arms uselessly across his chest. “Just tell me, Buck. Please.”

“I left because of you and Peggy,” Bucky said, the words blurting out of him. He looked surprised the second they were said out loud, but Steve was fairly certain that his confusion and surprise probably looked more amusing than the one that was on Bucky’s face.

“What?” Steve blinked a few times. “Um... Wh- what? Why?”

“Because,” Bucky’s voice was barely a whisper, and it cracked ever so slightly as he forced the words out. “Because... Because I was  _so_ fucking jealous, Stevie. But I  _knew_ that I couldn’t say anything. It was better for me to just leave. You’ve been better off without me anyway, Steve.”

_Oh._

Steve opened his mouth to say something- anything- but his voice died in his throat. He swallowed a few times, wiping his hands on his pants and said, “so... So you...”

“I’m-” Bucky faltered, coughing awkwardly. He looked terrified, but also more determined than Steve had ever seen and, Christ, he’d known Bucky almost all of their lives. He knew when Bucky  _meant_ something, and it was really obvious that he meant this. “I’m in love with you, Steve. I have been for years.”

And- well. Steve had already guessed that Bucky was going to say something like that, but actually hearing the words out loud did something very odd to the pit of his stomach. Not a bad feeling, but one that certainly had Steve feeling rather unsteady and awkward. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself, now.

“Oh,” Steve whispered finally, blinking a few times at Bucky.

That word was the wrong response, however, if the way Bucky’s shoulders sagged was anything to go by. His grey-blue eyes took on a slightly broken quality and his body almost seemed to collapse inward. It was heartbreaking to watch, and Steve wanted nothing more than to drag Bucky into his arms and hold him as close as he possibly could and never let go.

Oh.

_... Oh._

“Okay,” Bucky said quietly. His eyes had locked on his feet and Steve wanted for Bucky to look at him more than anything. “Yeah. Um. I... I figured you probably wouldn’t... Um. I’m just... I’m gonna go.”

“No,” Steve blurted out, panic welling up in his throat. “No, please don’t go.”

A tense smile- a grimace, really- graced Bucky’s lips. Steve watched, silently freaking out, as Bucky took a deep breath and turned halfway so they were facing each other again.

They were silent for a few moments before Bucky said, “Steve.”

Steve blinked. “What?”

“Look.” Bucky took another deep breath, seemingly in an attempt to gather himself, before he offered, “I promise I won’t stop being your friend this time. I’m... I mean. This is kind of embarrassing and it’s... not fun, but I’m also really relieved that you know, now. Just... as long as you don’t tell anyone I think we’ll be just fine. So. Yeah, it’s fine. I promise I won’t leave again, I just can’t... I can’t be here with you right now.”

“Don’t leave,” Steve said, swallowing thickly. “Don’t go, Bucky.”

Bucky’s bottom lip trembled ever so slightly (which Steve probably wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t staring at Bucky’s lips, which also- fuck) and he blinked quickly.

Oddly enough, Steve’s only thought was that Bucky looked stunning.

“Okay,” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking on the word. “Okay, Steve. Fine. Let’s just stand here awkwardly, then, while you continue to stare at me and say nothing.”

Steve wasn’t entirely sure how to explain to Bucky that he was trying his hardest to form words but they just  _weren’t_ coming to him, but he doubted he would be able to come up with a way to form that phrase any time soon.

So, instead, Steve took a few steps forward, grabbed Bucky’s hips in his hands, yanked Bucky close until they were pressed right up against each other, and leaned down so he could press his lips against Bucky’s.

A startled gasp escaped Bucky, but he didn’t move away. Instead, they both sank into the kiss, their lips moving hungrily against each other's.

 _Yeah_. Steve could get used to this.

“Steve,” Bucky whispered against his lips.

Steve didn’t bother with a reply. Instead, he just smiled into Bucky’s lips and deepened the kiss in an attempt to taste as much of Bucky as possible.

“Do you...?” Bucky’s words trailed off and Steve interrupted him before he could speak again with another desperate press of their lips. Bucky hummed softly against him, squirming just a bit closer in a way that was entirely too endearing.

Pulling away just slightly so he could kiss down Bucky’s jaw, Steve asked, “do I what, Buck?”

Bucky swallowed audibly, and his hands came up to tangle in Steve’s hair. “Do you... Um. Do you really mean it, Steve? You really want this?”

That caused Steve to pull back all the way, his eyes widening a bit. Bucky was looking up at him with trepidation and the smallest bit of fear in his eyes, almost as if he thought that Steve would change his mind in the next few seconds and decide that  _never mind_ ,  _he really didn’t want to be anywhere near Bucky_.

“Buck,” Steve breathed out. “Yes.  _Yes_. I definitely want this.”

“Okay,” Bucky agreed. A soft puff of air left him, and his lips twisted up into the most genuinely pure smile Steve had seen on Bucky’s face in years. “Okay, yeah. Let’s fuckin’ do it, Stevie.”

Steve pressed a smile into Bucky’s hair, his lips moving to the man’s forehead. “You’re incredible,” Steve said quietly.

“Oh, as if.” Bucky scoffed and wiggled his way out of Steve’s arms. “This doesn’t give you permission to be a godawful sap, Rogers.”

Steve snorted with laughter, pressing his face into Bucky’s hair and taking in the scent of him. “I’m always a godawful sap, Barnes.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, but he was smiling through the words. Steve didn’t even have to look at him to know. He could hear it in his voice. “Yeah, trust me. I noticed.”

There were so many things Steve could say, in that moment, so many words that he was caught up in, but he quickly decided that none of them were worth it. Instead, he simply leaned in and pressed his lips to Bucky’s again, thoroughly enjoying the way that Bucky squirmed a bit to get closer to him and smiled into the press of their lips. It was gentle and lazy in a way that Steve had never anticipated.

Bucky kissed like he laughed, slow and full of a honey-like sweetness that overwhelmed him in its gentleness before suddenly becoming intense and sharp, full of meaning and a hint of something else that rested just out of reach. It was intoxicating and Steve felt dizzy with it. So, of course, he did the only thing he could do and pressed closer, trying to consume the taste of citrus and whiskey off of Bucky’s tongue. The noise Bucky made in response was almost startling, simply because Steve was fairly certain he’d never heard him make that noise before.

He wanted to hear Bucky make that noise a thousand more times.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered, his hands moving to clutch at Steve’s shoulders. “I... I didn’t think that I’d ever get to- I’m. Fuck.”

Steve tightened his grip, clutching at them so hard he’d likely leave bruises, and whispered, “Shut up and let me kiss you, jerk,” against Bucky’s lips.

“Fucking punk,” Bucky replied, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he stumbled backward a few clumsy steps, practically forcing Steve to follow due to the way they were practically curled around each other. They moved further back until they were falling, landing on the bed that they’d once used to share, in a time that felt like it was a thousand lifetimes ago.

It was far too easy to lean forwards and press a few halting kisses to Bucky’s lips. After all, Bucky looked beautiful laid across the bed sheets, his dark hair a little floppy and falling out of its style into a soft and gentle halo of darkness that emphasized the difference between the pale bedsheets and Bucky’s beautiful hair.

After a moment, Steve pulled away to kiss down Bucky’s neck and only stopped to press a smile into Bucky’s collarbone.

“We’re not doing anything other than this tonight,” Bucky warned. “You’re going to end up pulling your stitches or something out.”

Steve snorted, his smile only growing wider. “I wasn’t going to fight you on that.”

“Good,” Bucky said, but he reached up to run a hand through Steve’s hair anyway. Steve hummed softly at the feeling of Bucky’s nimble feelings stroking through the ends of his hair and down his neck. “You reckless asshole.”

“I love you,” Steve said abruptly, finally lifting his head up from Bucky’s collarbone to smile at him. “You know that, right?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “I do,” he said. “I love you too, Rogers. Even though you’re a pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve poked at Bucky’s side, pressing a smile into Bucky’s lips. “You love me for it.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, his voice warm. “I guess I do, don’t I?”

They stayed like that all night, pressing kisses all over each other’s skin and giggling into their kisses, and Steve couldn’t help but think that everything was perfect. In the early hours of the morning, in between quiet moments of sleep and the feeling of the sun pressing in through the windows and warming their skin, Steve curled further around Bucky, clutching him closer and Bucky turned to look at him, his eyes narrowing a bit.

“I’m not going to go anywhere,” Bucky said quietly, his fingers trailing up to fiddle with the hem of Steve’s shirt. “You know that, yeah? I promise I’m not going to disappear on you like that ever again.”

Steve smiled, pressing his lips to Bucky’s hair. “Yeah,” he said. “I know. I just want to hold you.”

“You…” Bucky snorted with laughter, and Steve could feel his head shaking against his chest. “You’re such a sappy asshole, Rogers.”

And Steve, with laughter in his voice, said, “Only for you, Bucky Barnes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> Please feel free to comment or leave some kudos! And you can also find me on tumblr [here](nauticalallusions.tumblr.com) if you want to chat.


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